Muffins with Mom – Sharpen Your Math Skills – 3 Ways to Survive Parenting a Young Adult

  

My math skills are rusty. I know addition, subtraction, and multiplication, but there’s a situation that has me boggled. Perhaps you can help me. If there are two people at my house, why are there nine pair of shoes scattered near the front door, and none are mine?

There was one pizza box and two drinking glasses on the kitchen table. This led me to the conclusion that at some point two sons visited me in the middle of the night. When I awoke there was only one son present. I let him sleep a while longer so I could enjoy the quiet of the early morning.

The sound of my tea kettle and the smell of bacon, must have awakened my sleeping prince charming. I say this dripping with sarcasm. He came to life as he entered my quiet space, “Are you making breakfast?”

“Yes, and what time did you get home last night? Did you take Granny where she needed to go? How long did you stay? Who else went with you?”

“Ma, catch your breath. You missed your calling. You shouldn’t be in recreation; you should be in investigation or interrogation.”

“Investigation, interrogation, and perspiration, are some of the skills, knowledge and abilities required for the job of parenting.”

My son gave his typical rolling of the eyes, and heavy sighing; then moved on to prepare for breakfast.

How do you survive parenting young adults? You beat them at their own game. Here are 3 survival tactics:

1.      Promise to spoil their children rotten, then send them home.

2.      Give them the same blessing your parents gave you – may your children be just like you.

3.      Handle the craziness with humor.

You can sharpen your math skills when parenting a young adult. Here’s how:

1.      Subtract knee jerk, negative responses.

2.      Add positive comments.

3.      Multiply the amount of times you express your love and support.

 

What are your tips for parenting a young adult?

Muffins with Mom – The Lighter Side of Car Repairs

 

Is there anyone among us who likes costly auto repairs? When I am told that my car needs repairs, I break out in a sweat, clench my jaws, and temporarily stop breathing. The price is written on a piece of paper and slid across the counter to me.

I stared at the numbers scratched on the paper. I blew out a gush or air so strong, that the service guy could probably smell the purple onions and Raspberry vinegarette dressing from my salad at lunchtime.

“Let me think about whether I want to have this done right now,” I said to the service person.

When I returned home, I shared my repair situation with my son. He shared his viewpoint with me.

“Ma, that’s not something that you really need right now. Think of it like this…your chip a fingernail and they want you to get a new set, but all you really need is a fill-in.”

“When did you learn nail tech language?”

“I’m just trying to explain things in a way you would understand.”

Since my son painted a clear picture (pun intended, newly painted nails and all), I decided not to go with the cosmetic repairs.

Instead of crying over the money I would have to spend on car repairs, my son provided me with a moment of humor relief.

Where are you finding humor – at work, a family situation, perhaps an embarrassing moment? Humor is around us every day, uncover it and use it as a stress release.

Muffins with Mom – A minute to meditate – 3 Tips for humor as self-care

 

If you give a mom a minute...she'll be distracted

...And distracted again

If you give a mom a minute to meditate, she’ll drift into a deep sleep. If she goes to sleep, she’ll want to snuggle with her favorite fleece blanket. If her blanket isn’t warm enough, she’ll want fuzzy socks.

If her sock has a hole in it, she’ll search for needle and thread to sew up. As she sews the hole, she’ll become tired and remember why she began to meditate in the first place. And the cycle repeats in the life of a busy mom.

Step off the hamster wheel, the merry-go-round, the rinse and repeat cycle of life, and schedule deliberate time for selfcare. Laughter is one tool I like to include in my selfcare, and you can too. Here are 3 ways to use humor or laughter as selfcare.

1.      Find humor in daily situations – I’ve fallen asleep during meditation, prayer, and a zoom class. None of these things were boring, it’s just that my body has a mind of it’s on. When it needs rest, it’s going to rest. I find the humor in each situation and share it through a story or comedy. You too can uncover humor in your daily walk. Try it.

2.      Treat yourself to a comedy show – find a comedy club in your area, call a friend, and laugh until your cheeks hurt.

3.      Read something humorous – as a youngster I loved to read Archie comics.  Every now and then I’ll still grab an Archie Digest from the bookstore (yes Archie comics are still around). The stories my not be laugh out loud funny, but they can evoke a smile. I’m currently reading Fifty Things that Aren’t My Fault by Cathy Guisewite, the creator of the comic strip Cathy. I have laughed out loud while reading her book. I also had an opportunity to meet Cathy in person at the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop in 2022. Her keynote talk had the room filled with laughter.

If you give a mom a minute to meditate, she can truly find a million other things to distract her. The opposite can also happen -  she will fall asleep because she just finished doing a million things. Laughter can help to ease some of the daily stress we experience.

Take a minute, or two, or three to invest in your selfcare. Laugh more.

Muffins with Mom – A K.I.S.S. for the Holiday

One egg, water, add to gingerbread mix. Betty Crocker made it easy to bake gingerbread with my sons as part of our Holiday tradition. The end result was warm, moist cake, with a dollop of cool whip, and an engaging conversation with my sons. My tip for the Holiday is to seal it with a K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Silly).

As part of our Holiday tradition, we put up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. It’s looking at the Christmas lights that motivate me. When my sons were younger they would help decorate the tree, adding beads, bulbs, and ornaments they made at school.

Although my sons are grown now, the tradition still continues, it just looks a little different. I’ve learned to keep it simple. I asked my older son to help me drag the Christmas tree box from the basement. This also meant hauling out the tote containing all the ornaments (ribbons, bulbs, beads, bells).

“Why do you have so much stuff,” my son asked.

“Accumulation. At least it’s organized.”

It didn’t take long to assemble the pre-lit tree, but it was days before I returned to add ornaments. It was then that I enlisted the assistance of my younger son to help decorate the tree. He is known as the negotiation of the family.

“I’ll help if I can have flavored candy canes, and gingerbread,” said son two.

“You can do it for the bonding and family togetherness, and I’ll consider the gingerbread.”

Well, I did make the gingerbread, and the Christmas tree is decorated with the ornaments and candy canes. I spend a little time each day sitting in stillness (reading, or writing) and admiring the colorful lights.

As you prepare for the Holiday season choose to do something simple that brings you joy. Little things can provide bug joy.

What tips do you have for keeping the Holiday season simple?

Muffins with Mom – Journaling can be fun – The best kept secret no one ever told you

 

The crazy thing about having a hobby is…after you do it so long, it can feel like work. I like to journal. For me writing or journaling is more than a hobby. I love a decorative journal with a cover that has patterned designs, pages with a splash of color and sometimes, inspirational quotes.

One cool night as I sat nestled under the covers, watching a Hallmark movie, my son tapped on my bedroom door. I’m sure I looked like the grandma in Little Red Riding Hood, with my bonnet on and eyeglasses. My son had a grin on his face the size of a hula hoop. He said, “Ma, I have something for you.”

My son whipped a book from behind his back and dangled it in the air like a carrot. The words spilled from his mouth in a sing-song tone, “It’s a new journal.”

A gift from a son to his mother

I smiled with glee at my gift. The title of the journal was “Your’ Mother’s Story – Mom I want to know everything about you.” How sweet. I began flipping through the pages. Each page had a question for the reader to answer. There were questions such as what was the first car you wanted and why? What does your yearbook say about you?

After my son left me with the sweet gift, I stomped into his room, “Now you want the answers to these questions? You could have just listened years ago when I tried to share information. This is not journaling. This is writing a novel.”

“Well, you can do a little each day.”

My peaceful, therapeutic process of journal writing had the potential of becoming a chore. I refused to let that happen.

The best kept secret to making journal writing fun is…enjoy the process. Look at your time with your journal as a peaceful moment, a time to relax and reflect. Set a time to writ that best fits your day. It could be in the morning to start your day, mid-day to take a break, or an evening wind-down. You choose.

I’m having fun with the journal my son gave me. I’ve found ways to inject humor and also reflect on some of my childhood memories.

Don’t let your hobby feel like work, whether it’s journal writing or something different, enjoy the process.

What tips do you have for making journal writing fun?

 

Muffins with Mom – Family Traditions

 

Cousins - A birthday celebration

What family traditions are unique to your family? My brother likes to go out to dinner every year for his birthday, and Father’s Day…to the same restaurant. We also end up at that same restaurant for Mother’s Day, because my mom enjoys that place too.

We enter the restaurant, and my brother is greeted warmly like the 1980’s sitcom Cheers. The waitress says, “Hey Norm.” Immediately a line from the Cheers theme song pops in my head – Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.

At our family gatherings we have four generations represented, from toddlers to menopausal and post-menopausal relatives. The best part of traditions with our family is sharing stories and laughs. I’ve come to learn that the saying, Out of the mouths of babes, is not restricted to the young.

My twenty-five-year-old asked, “Ma, why did you only have two kids, why not three? We wanted a sister.”

“Well, you’re not getting a sister at this point. You can have as many kids as you want. After you finish paying those college loans, and helping me around the house, tell me how many kids YOU want to have.”

Our afternoon was filled with laughter and promises to get together more often, not just for birthdays and holidays. A friend told me that her family gets together monthly for a game night. The location rotates among family members.

The best part about family traditions is creating memories and leaving a legacy for the next generation. While at the grocery store with my son last week, a pumpkin carving kit sitting on a shelf caught his eye. He said, “Remember when we used to carve pumpkins? It was so messy.”

My son was right, pumpkin carving at our house, was a mess, but it’s a memory that stayed with him. Perhaps when he has kids pumpkin carving will be a neat experience.

What advice would you share about family traditions?

 

Muffins with Mom – A Reflection in Parenting

 

It’s that time of year where store shelves are filled with spiral notebooks, crayons, pens, erasers, and backpacks. It’s an unspoken notification that it’s Back to School time. Although my cherubs are done with school, I stumbled upon a photo that drew me into a memory.

Along with the start of a new school year, comes picture day. During my sons second grade year I hadn’t decided whether I would purchase a package. We still had photos left from the two previous years. He hadn’t changed THAT much.

Well, the photography company took photos of all the students and sent them home for parents to preview and decide on a package. Great marketing on their part. The presentation was nice and included a plastic sheet of keychain photos.

The keychain photos were assembled in a way that they could be detached by snapping them from the plastic sheet. The sheet stated Do Not Detach unless you want to purchase. Can you guess what happened? I won’t keep you in suspense. My son detached each one of the six photos. There they were scattered on the table like a jigsaw puzzle.

The decision was made for me…we purchased a small photo package, and the detached keyring photos. Fast forward fifteen years – one of those keyring photos is still in good shape. It never made it onto a ring with keys, but found its way into a photo box, tucked away with other memories.

Parenting is full of ups and downs, but it’s the fond memories that make it all worthwhile.

What is one fun, back to school memory that you can reflect upon?

 

Muffins with Mom – Planes, Trains, and Automobiles – Travel Plans Gone Haywire

“Ma, wake up, our flight was changed to 6:30am,” my son shouted into my dark bedroom. My hand lazily reached for the cell phone on my nightstand. A squeeze of the button on the side of the phone and a blinding light revelated that it was 3:35am. Meditation did not make it onto my morning routine that day.

My son roughly secured our luggage in the trunk of the car, and I hopped in the driver’s seat. Porch lights were still on, but the moon was beginning to fade away. My son’s stayed awake most of the night in their man cave. Their rationale was to have fun, then sleep on the plane. Isn’t there a saying about the best laid plans?

We arrived at the airport with just enough time to park in the most expensive long-term parking garage. It would have cost us precious minutes to drive to the lot for which I had a coupon. So, we settled on the $26/day lot, pulled into a space, and dashed to the nearest kiosk to retrieve our boarding pass. And that was our first roadblock.

Our boarding passes would not print. My sons and I were directed to a line where we stood with others who were having problems. The attendant asked to see confirmation of our flight. My son opened an email on his phone. The attendant leaned in to read the details, and said, “This flight has been cancelled.”

Little did I know that my sons and I were entering an experience like the classis 1980’s movie, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. We moved aside so the next person waiting anxiously in line could have their problem solved. We sat down…for the next two hours trying to find a flight to our destination. It was Friday morning and we needed to be at a wedding the next day.

One son positioned himself on a row of seats and went to sleep, sitting up, with his head back and mouth open. The other son was on the phone with the credit card company trying to determine what happened. We had a round-trip ticket but  decided to purchase a one-way ticket on the first flight and airline we could get.

Finally, we found a flight leaving in four hours. The catch was that we would have a five-hour layover, then fly one hour, rent a car, and drive three hours to our final destination. We got our car out of long-term parking, went home to rest, and wrap our mind around the next phase of our adventure.

Our round-trip consisted of three airports, two rental cars, and very nice hotel accommodations. This was our version of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, but it was worth it to attend a beautiful wedding.

The beautiful bride and groom

Have you ever had travel plans go haywire? 

Muffins with Mom - The Road Trip - Advice from a backseat driver

 

“Get on I-94 West for 10 miles, merge to the left lane, take the ramp, go South…” I attempted to lower the volume on my car GPS, but in reality it was my adult son spewing out directions to me from the backseat.

“Ma, why do you have a printed MapQuest? Just put the location in your phone.”

I could feel my sons contorted face looking at the back of my head. Glancing in the rearview mirror was confirmation of his antics.

Actually, the directions ARE programmed in my phone, the MapQuest is my back-up plan.”

“I’m surprised you don’t have one of those old Tom Tom systems.”

“It’s in the glove compartment, I couldn’t get it to work.”

Our overnight bags were secure in the trunk of the car and bags of snacks rode inside of the car like passengers. We settled into our ride, windows slightly open, letting in the damp morning air.

My mom was riding shotgun, in the passenger seat, but didn’t want to be in charge of the directions. She nibbled on the breakfast sandwich she grabbed at a restaurant drive-thru before we hit the road.

Both my sons popped their wireless earbuds in and slid into a comfortable recline. Well, as comfortable as one can be in a car when your knees are almost jabbing into the seat in front of you.

I listened to an audio book recording of one of my favorite authors. Not more than five minutes passed when I heard my son announce, “Ma, we just passed our exit.”

“I thought you were my GPS. That’s why I printed a MapQuest.”

“No Ma, we’re not using that MapQuest. We’d have to search the steps to see where we are. If we miss a step or there’s construction, we’d have to turn around, go home, and start over.”

His sarcasm wasn’t lost on me. “I stopped using paper checks…one technology change at a time is all I can handle.”

 After four hours in the car, we arrived at our destination, an all-star basketball game that my son was playing in. After the days excitement was complete, we headed to our hotel where the only directions needed were, “which way is the swimming pool?”

What has been your experience on a road trip?

 

 

 

Muffins with Mom – When the student becomes the teacher

A teachable moment

 

I stood behind them in quiet observation. My son  leaned over near his vehicle’s tire,  explaining to his dad, how he realized the tire needed attention. Their voices were muffled, but the gestures and body movements played like a silent movie as I looked on.

Have you ever wondered whether you child has listened to the lessons you tried to teach them? As my children grew through the stages of learning and developing, there were times when they made me question my sanity (that’s when I leaned on faith). Today when I watch them silently, and listen to the things they say, I know they have learned many lessons.

If I’m being completely honest, there are many times I learn lessons from my sons. There are days when I’m excited to learn something new, then there are days when I fight change. For instance, I don’t like upgrading my cell phone. My son said, “A new phone has so many features that you can use for your blog and writing.”

“That’s okay, I’m just getting comfortable with the features on the phone I’ve had for two years.”

My son finally convinced me to get a new phone, one that was outside of my technology skillset. “I’ll help you get it set up,” he said. And he did.

It was the middle of the night (10pm) as he to coach me through various features of the phone. “Do you want to set up face recognition for unlocking your phone?”

“Sure, why not” I said.

“Take off your glasses and follow the directions.”

I did as my son instructed, I removed my glasses, and stared at my reflection in the phone…and screamed with my eyes. My hair bonnet was perched on my head, the collar of my warm fleece housecoat was prevalent, and there appeared to be dark circles under my eyes. I moved my head up, down, and side to side as the arrows on the phone directed me.

My son fiddled with his phone as he waited for me to complete the task he had given to me. I interrupted his focus. “Um, I don’t think this facial recognition is going to recognize me tomorrow.”

As I learn to do different things with technology, my son learns to be patient. As you age remember, you’re never too old to learn something new; And it’s okay that the student becomes the teacher.

What is one thing that you have learned recently?

Muffins with Mom – Sharpen Your Math Skills – 3 Ways to Survive Parenting a Young Adult

 

A family moment - sometimes you just have to go with the flow

An aunt and her nephews

My math skills are rusty. I know addition, subtraction, and multiplication, but there’s a situation that has me boggled. Perhaps you can help me. If there are two people at my house, why are there nine pair of shoes scattered near the front door, and none are mine?

There was one pizza box and two drinking glasses on the kitchen table. This led me to the conclusion that at some point two sons visited me in the middle of the night. When I awoke there was only one son present. I let him sleep a while longer so I could enjoy the quiet of the early morning.

The sound of my tea kettle and the smell of bacon, must have awakened my sleeping prince charming. I say this dripping with sarcasm. He came to life as he entered my quiet space, “Are you making breakfast?”

“Yes, and what time did you get home last night? Did you take Granny where she needed to go? How long did you stay? Who else went with you?”

“Ma, catch your breath. You missed your calling. You shouldn’t be in recreation; you should be in investigation or interrogation.”

“Investigation, interrogation, and perspiration, are some of the skills, knowledge and abilities required for the job of parenting.”

My son gave his typical rolling of the eyes, and heavy sighing; then moved on to prepare for breakfast.

How do you survive parenting young adults? You beat them at their own game. Here are 3 survival tactics:

1.      Promise to spoil their children rotten, then send them home.

2.      Give them the same blessing your parents gave you – may your children be just like you.

3.      Handle the craziness with humor.

You can sharpen your math skills when parenting a young adult. Here’s how:

1.      Subtract knee jerk, negative responses.

2.      Add positive comments.

3.      Multiply the amount of times you express your love and support.

 

What are your tips for parenting a young adult?

Muffins with Mom – Creative ways to parent young adults

 

What is your parenting style? How do you get your message across in a manner that your child will understand? As my children have grown into young adulthood, our methods of getting our point across have changed. They tend to use sarcasm, and I give it right back to them.

My sons have learned many life skills; they cook, clean, and do laundry. However, I may need to give them an aptitude test to determine whether they are beginners, intermediate, or proficient. Let me show you what I mean.

Laundry

My son is very capable of washing his own clothes. He sorts, selects the load size and water temperature. It’s when he adds the laundry detergent that things go haywire. I prepared to lift the heavy liquid detergent container to wash my load of clothes. I almost snatched my arm off because the container was so light.

My son yelled from a different room, “Ma, can you put my clothes in the dryer?”

“Sure. Can you use less than a gallon of laundry detergent n your next load?”

Cooking

My son loves breakfast foods and has mastered pancakes with crispy edges, cooked on the griddle, which is our family signature. Ask him to prepare a dinner and sighs of exasperation flow from his mouth, “Oookay. Let’s make tacos, you cook the meant and I’ll do the rest.”

Translation – I cook most of the meal and he’s does the easy things, like taking the shredded cheese from the fridge.

After three years of college, countless roommates, and calls home asking, “how long do you cook…(fill in the blank)?” My son found success. He snapped a picture of one of his successful meals and texted it to me. The message read, “I bet you wish you were here.”

I smiled at his accomplishment, but texted, “No, I wish you were here, to cut the grass for me.”

Once our sarcasm was reigned in, I complimented my son on the presentation of his dish. I’m no chef, and neither is he, but I like my food to look appetizing on the plate.

Cleaning

When there is cleaning to be done, my sons are never short on excuses. Some of the excuses have included:

“I have to run an errand; I’ll do it as soon as I get back.”

“Can I do it after I finish my homework?” (What do you say to that one?).

My sons are pretty clever when it comes to providing snappy responses. I wouldn’t want to disappoint them so I have a few canned responses for questions they may ask me like, “What’s for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry, I ate yesterday, or “I’m fasting today.”

I’ve found three things helpful when parenting young adults:

1.      Allow them to express themselves – you already know this, but our children have their own opinions.

2.      Listen more than you talk – I have learned to listen without forming an opinion. My sons are more willing to share when I listen before giving my opinion. Realistically, they don’t tell me everything, but they share a few things.

3.      Schedule time to do fun things together – this doesn’t have to be anything big but should be something that your family finds fun. If you want a suggestion – it’s summertime, get outside, go to a beach, a lake, play cornhole, or host a barbecue.

Although my family playfully uses sarcasm, they know this is not meant to be offensive. As you parent your young adult, do it with love, and create lasting memories. How is your parenting style working?

 

Muffins with Mom – A Graduation Celebration 3 Ways to make your event fun

 

The official graduation ceremony ended weeks ago, the sound of pomp and circumstance now in the distance, but the celebration continues. Family, friends, fun, and the threat of foul weather. What do you do when something threatens to rain on your parade, dampen your spirits? Attack with humor.

The day of my son’s outdoor graduation open house, the weather prediction called for all day thunderstorms. We regrouped and moved the event to an inside location. I arrived early to arrange the room. After an hour, I was ready for a snack and realized I’d forgotten my favorite Sparkling Ice water.

I called my son around 10am and asked, “Can you bring me  a couple bottles of water on your way to your haircut appointment?”

“Sure, mom.”

An hour passed and my throat was beyond dry. I called my son again, “Did you forget about me?”

“No, I was going to bring the water when I’m on my way to the open house.”

“At 2pm? I’m thirsty now, not three hours from now.”

“Oh.”

That response meant I wasn’t going to quench my thirst anytime soon. The threat of severe weather was back, only this time it was inside my body…in the form of hot flashes. Between the weather in the physical environment and the blazing temperature attacking my body, stress was mounting.

A graduation celebration is supposed to reflect fun, fellowship, and friendship. Here are 3 ways to make your celebration fun.

1.      Plan a variety of activities – not everyone will like the same things. One group of young adults were enthralled in a game of cards. A few younger kids were captivated by the jumbo Connect Four game.

2.      Have plenty of food – it’s a personal preference, but I’d rather have food left over, then to run out. Your food selection does not have to be elaborate but have enough.

3.      Provide music – music sets the atmosphere; make it upbeat, lively and enough variety for all ages.

All of these things were included in our graduation celebration. Once our event was relocated indoors, nothing rained on our parade. There was a trash talking card game in one corner, aunts and uncles reminiscing at another table, and the graduate posing for pictures.

Don’t miss a chance to celebrate with your child or other relative.

How many graduation celebrations have you been to this year? What made the celebration fun?

 

Muffins with Mom – The Motivation, Inspiration and Perspiration of Parenting

 

The call came at the end of my workday, my sons picture flashed on the screen of my cell phone. I answered quickly as I was packing up to head home. His voice had a joyful tone as he said, “Guess what Ma? I’ve got good news.”

“Save me from guessing, and just tell me your news.”

“I’m graduating May…”

I dropped the phone and started jumping and shouting. My moves were a combination of praise dancing, jumping rope, and playing hopscotch. I bounced from my back office, past a conference room, a copy machine, and another office; To say I was excited would be an understatement.

Perspiration was forming on my forehead, inspiration was in my heart, and I knew that motivation was driving my son to see light at the end of the tunnel. After several years in college and spending time at three different colleges, he now had a graduation date. I didn’t learn of the date right away because I dropped the phone in excitement.

When a child achieves a milestone accomplishment it is a proud parenting moment. Although every achievement is worth celebrating, the big ones bring an abundance of joy for parent and child. A flood of memories poured out. There was the time my son played Wide Receiver on a little league football team and scored his first touchdown.

In high school, as my son ran down the football field, or scored points from the free throw line in basketball, I cheered. I enjoyed yelling from the stands as much as he enjoyed the adrenaline of running with a ball. His perspiration came from tense moments in the game, and so did mine.

Each time my son experienced a setback, I attempted to say a word to motivate him to keep pushing forward. We journeyed through little league, AAU sports, a high school basketball championship, and finally college. On days when I felt like I didn’t have the energy to motivate or encourage, I handed off the baton.

Running in the game of life sometimes felt like being on track relay team. Four runners are positioned around the track, one begins running then hands the baton to the next person to take over. Sometimes a runner would fall behind, causing the last runner to push harder to the finish line. Those moments when I felt exhausted and depleted, I handed off the baton.

Motivation, inspiration, and perspiration are a part of my parenting journey in some way. You may have other words to describe the journey. No matter what descriptive words you use, know that you have made an impact in your child’s life. It’s alright to feel tired and unmotivated at times, rest, take a breather, and get back in the game. You matter.

Muffins with Mom – A Parenting Role Reversal

 

A mother son moment

Have you ever held a conversation with your child, only for them to tell you later that they forgot what you said? Well, it still happens when they’re young adults.

I told my gatekeepers (my sons) that I would not be home right after work because I had a hair appointment. Somehow they must have forgotten that. Two hours past the end of my workday, I sat blissfully underneath the hair dryer reading a book. My cell phone buzzed.

The text message read, “Ma, where are u?”

I quickly responded so I could get back to reading my book. Five seconds after I hit send, my phone rang. It was my other son calling. I tilted my head outside of the hair dryer (I didn’t want to stop the dryer) and pressed the phone against my ear.

“Ma, where are you?”

“I’m at the hair salon. Are you and your brother in the same house?”

“Oh, I was about to put out an Amber Alert.”

“I may be a little too old for an Amber Alert, but thanks for wanting to send out an emergency response team. Please text your brother. Better yet, go into the other room and tell your brother I’m fine.”

My son told me that he’d forgotten that I had a hair appointment. He realized that I should have been home by a certain time. In that moment, a role reversal occurred. Both my sons experienced what a parent goes through when their child is not where he should be.

What is an example of a time you experienced a role reversal with your child?

 

Muffins with Mom – New Year, New Goals for Helpful Kids

 

Sometimes siblings help each other, but will they help their parents?

It’s a new year, time to set new goals or in my case, new rules. Are there certain times that your kids are more helpful than other times? Although I refer to them as kids here, my sons are young adults. While they are still in the midst of virtual learning, it’s time to set new house rules or reintroduce them to old rules.

Here is my working list of rules:

1.      Chores still exist, you must take part

2.      You must knock on a closed bedroom door

3.      Coats must be hung in closets not on the back of chairs for days, and days

Let’s explore this list.

Chores

I asked one son to move an item to the basement. He assured me it would get done. An hour later, the item remained in the same spot. No, I take that back, the item was moved closer to the basement door.

In this instance I guess I should have set a SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relatable, Time-bound) goal. I could have made this specific and measurable by saying, “I need you to take “x” in the basement within the next half hour.”

I told my son if he preferred, I could go back to his childhood and count to three as he completed his task. His response was an eye-roll. His face broke into a smile as he said, “I remember you used trick us to get us to do something by saying, let’s see how fast you are.”

Knock on bedroom doors

Knocking on closed bedroom doors has always been a rule. This time my son broke the rule, and it was a tad bit unpleasant for him. It happened at night. I was sitting in bed with a book, the TV was on  and the ceiling light with daylight bulbs, shined brightly. At some point I fell asleep in the midst of all of this.

My son told me the next morning that he got more than he bargained for. Because he saw the light on, he thought I was sitting up awake. He entered my room in search of toothpaste from my bathroom. What he got was an eye full of thigh twisted with the bedsheet barely covering it. In his words, “She must be having a hot flash.”

He was correct, a full- blown hot flash was in progress. I asked my son did he scream at the sight. He said he was screaming on the inside. My son said he will never enter my room again without knocking.

Disclosure: I was wearing pajamas, but my son couldn’t tell by my exposed thigh.

Coats must be hung in closets

I came home from the grocery store with an armful of groceries, you know, two bags on each arm so a second trip to the car is not needed. My son came to the rescue after I pushed the front door open with my free, foot. He grabbed the bags and scurried off to the kitchen with them.

My other son came over and slid my coat off for me then he said, “Where do you usually put this?”

“In the coat closet. It’s located near the front door.”

My sons don’t use the closet much. They leave their coats and jackets on the back of the chair nearest to them. When I hang up their coats they become confused, saying things like, “Ma have you seen my jacket?”

New year, new goals. My sons are helpful, sometimes it just takes longer than I’d like.

What house rules have you had to adjust or enforce lately?

If you enjoyed this post and want to experience more of Angie's everyday episodes, read her book, Menopause Ain't no Joke. Check out her YouTube Channel for a few funnies and inspiration.

Muffins with Mom – College Kids Home? Make Your Holidays Great

 

Do you have college kids home for the Holidays? I bet they’re following all of the house rules and helping with chores at every opportunity...or not. It’s time to set a few rules in order to make your Holiday great.

Grown & Flown has presented a humorous look on how to have a great Holiday with college kids home. Check out the story here.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas (season) this year.

Muffins with Mom – Love and Laughter

 

Photo Credit: Esty

“Deck the hall with love and laughter,” that was the message on the inside wrapper my bite sized Dove chocolate. The message was designed for me, even though I devoured 4 pieces of chocolate to get to it. I believe love and laughter is a good combination, how about you what do you think?

Here’s how it looks in my family…

I love to laugh with my sons (sometimes at their expense).

We’re in need of new blinds for some of the windows at my house. My son and I went to the store where he used to work, I was counting on his expertise.

There was a high-low machine in the aisle, he started touching the gadgets, “This is new, they didn’t have this when I was here.”

“Can we stay focused? Stop touching things.” He was acting like a kid in a candy store.

There were so many options, I held up two styles and asked my son, “What’s the difference in these?”

“$80, and one comes with a remote control.”

“Oh, I don’t need another electronic that I don’t know how work.”

I selected the less expensive blinds. I didn’t need a remote control for my blinds, walking over to do it myself counts towards my exercise.

 

An Apple a Day

Apples are a favorite fruit at my house, especially Honeycrisp. In fact, the Honeycrisp has been center of family disagreements. I’ve heard statements such as:

“Who took the last apple, I didn’t get any?”

“Why are you hiding apples in the china cabinet?”

“You already had three apples today.”

And those were just my comments.

Have you heard the saying, out of sight out of mind? My son provides numerous examples of this when I ask him to grab something from the cabinet.

He says, “I don’t see it.” I knew all he did was hold the cabinet door open and look at eye level. He didn’t move anything around.

I beat my son at his own game. I bought a bag of shiny, crunchy, juice spurting Honeycrisp apples. I put and few in the fruit bowl and place the rest of the bag in a corner of the kitchen counter. Then I covered the bag with a paper towel. Far be it for him to move anything around without being asked.

A fresh bag of apples were all mine for several days before they were discovered.

Deck your halls with love and laughter, a perfect combination; How would you combine these two words?

 

 

Muffins with Mom - My child was a science experiment

Photo Credit:MindChamps

Hydrogen, Oxygen and Peroxide, what does this combination equal? Are you puzzled? That’s exactly how I felt about child rearing when I had my first son. Puzzled – like I was experimenting. Leafing through an old photo album led to memories of when my sons were younger. If you don’t have kids yet, I recommend planning for two; the first one will be an experiment.

My collection of books included – What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and What to Expect, the Toddler Years. Cutting your child’s hair was not one of the chapters. When my son needed his first haircut, off we went to the barber shop. Floppy four-inch braids were scattered around his head.

The  leather barber chair looked like it was swallowing my three-year-old son’s body. He hunched his shoulders and curled his body inward at the buzz of the clippers. When the barber was done, my son held a lone braid in his hand and said, “hair broke.” My son and I both survived that first haircut, but a few years later wasn’t as successful.

We were visiting Granny for the day and my sone needed a haircut. In her not so wee voice Granny said, “We can go to the barbershop up the street.”

At the barbershop up the street my son hopped onto the barber’s chair unaware of what awaited him. Clippers buzzed, hair dropped to the floor, more hair then we realized, disappeared. We paid the barber, gave a tip and went on our merry way. Until…

Upon closer inspection of my sons’ new look, a discovery was made. My lip twitched, my eyebrows raised, and I bellowed, “Ma, half his eyebrow is gone.”

As sure as the sky is Blue, my son’s eyebrow was shaved in half. And I gave the guy a tip for doing it. The first child is an experiment.

When describing a task to you, have you ever had someone say, “it’s as easy as riding a bike?” Riding a bike is not always easy. I remember as though it were yesterday, the first time my son maneuvered his bike without training wheels. I held the back of the bike seat for a few feet as he rode, then let go, sending him into a gentle glide.

He kept gliding… past two houses, then down a neighbors’ driveway and out into the street. I heard faint screams as I looked in my sons’ direction. I transformed into Usain Bolt as I finished a 50-yard dash in three seconds. I rescued my son from the mean streets of the subdivision before he crashed into anything.

By the time the second child comes along you become a little more mellow. Son number two came running in the house one day after playing baseball with friends. He had tripped and hit his tooth on something. There was blood all over his white t-shirt, I panicked and screamed, “Oh my goodness, get in the bathroom right now…and wash that blood off your shirt or that stain will never come out.”

What is one funny reflection from when your child was younger or when you were a child?

  

Muffins with Mom – Blueberry Pancakes – True Confessions

 

Photo Credit: Pinch of Yum

I never liked blueberries as a child. It took me until adulthood to accept them in my smoothies. Then along came a Facebook post from a friend, with picture of a delightful looking stack of blueberry pancakes, topped with a drizzle of honey. This was something I had to try.

Pancakes were often the breakfast of choice at our house. While my sons were stuck at home with me during the stay home order, I experimented in the kitchen. Award winning Blueberry Pancakes did not develop in my kitchen. My son made a confession last week.

“We didn’t want to tell at the time, but those pancakes had TOO many blueberries. It was like 50 blueberries in one pancake.”

His confession continued.

“Me and Don looked at each other and laughed. We didn’t say at word, just used telecommunication. Then Don asked me, ‘are there supposed to be this many blueberries?’ We kept eating them because you don’t cook that often. We ate fast to get through them.”

My son said I came in the room and asked, “Do you want some more?”

Unknowingly, I was answered with pleading eyes of torture – back away from the griddle.

Blueberries will remain an ingredient in my smoothies, as for pancakes, perhaps I’ll try adding chocolate chips.

Have you heard any food confessions lately?