Monday Musings – Risk Taking – When your child wants adventure, but you want a signed waiver

 

Risk Taking - An Illusion Museum

My son recently announced that he wants to start taking more risks. My eyes twitched, followed by my head, and neck muscles. The sound from the back of my throat came out like a scream, “What?! I fight hard to keep you alive and safe as it is.”

In my mind his statement said, “Ma, I have decided to increase the likelihood of something happening to me.” Apparently, he meant taking chances, trying new things and stepping outside his comfort zone.

As parents we (you and I) raise our children to be independent, confident, and willing to try things. Then when they become independent you’re like, wait, I didn’t mean that independent. My son has me feeling like I need to create a maternal risk assessment department that evaluates every decision he makes.

Just for fun and to help us maintain our sanity, I’ve created a list of tips for parents of risk-taking children.

1.    Take a deep breath.
Then take another one. You may be taking a lot of deep breaths from now on.

2.    Ask yourself: “Is this actually dangerous, or just something I wouldn't do?”
There is a difference between dangerous and Mom doesn't like it.

3.    Remember: You raised them to be independent.
Unfortunately, they took you seriously.

4.    Try not to say, “I told you so.”
At least not immediately. Give it 30 seconds.

5.    Let them make some mistakes.
This is  difficult for parents because apparently we were not designed for this part.

6.    Resist the urge to give a 45-minute lecture.
They've already stopped listening at minute three.

7.    Remember that risk-taking can actually be a good thing.
Sometimes taking a chance leads to confidence, growth, opportunity and success.
Just make sure they're not taking the kind of risk that requires you to identify them at the hospital.

8.    Set boundaries without trying to control everything.
Your job isn't to remove every risk from their life.
It's to make sure they understand the difference between “bold move” and “bad decision.”

9.    Accept that you may never stop worrying.
Parenting doesn't come with an expiration date.
Apparently, neither does a parent’s anxiety.

During my son’s school aged days, I remember signing many permission slips, and participation waivers. As he transitions into adulthood, I feel that I should have my son sign a waiver; One that states that he will not engage in any high-risk activities that cause me anxiety.

What advice would you give to a parent of a child who wants to take more risks?

Wordless Wednesday - My Kids Have Declared War on My Sanity

 

YouTube Video: Crazy Kids - Finding Humor in Parenting

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - When your son calls you old without saying you're old

 

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - When your little brother becomes your big brother

 

Humor Happy Hour 

Finding humor in a doctor's visit

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - Football and Humor

 

YouTube Video: Football and Parenting

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - When a Mom Makes Friends

 

YouTube Video: Humor Happy Hour - When Mama Makes Friends

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - Where's Santa

 

Humor Happy Hour - Where's Santa

Humor for your Holiday Season

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - Lethal Hands

 

YouTube Video - Humor Happy Hour

Muffins with Mom – Sharpen Your Math Skills – 3 Ways to Survive Parenting a Young Adult

  

My math skills are rusty. I know addition, subtraction, and multiplication, but there’s a situation that has me boggled. Perhaps you can help me. If there are two people at my house, why are there nine pair of shoes scattered near the front door, and none are mine?

There was one pizza box and two drinking glasses on the kitchen table. This led me to the conclusion that at some point two sons visited me in the middle of the night. When I awoke there was only one son present. I let him sleep a while longer so I could enjoy the quiet of the early morning.

The sound of my tea kettle and the smell of bacon, must have awakened my sleeping prince charming. I say this dripping with sarcasm. He came to life as he entered my quiet space, “Are you making breakfast?”

“Yes, and what time did you get home last night? Did you take Granny where she needed to go? How long did you stay? Who else went with you?”

“Ma, catch your breath. You missed your calling. You shouldn’t be in recreation; you should be in investigation or interrogation.”

“Investigation, interrogation, and perspiration, are some of the skills, knowledge and abilities required for the job of parenting.”

My son gave his typical rolling of the eyes, and heavy sighing; then moved on to prepare for breakfast.

How do you survive parenting young adults? You beat them at their own game. Here are 3 survival tactics:

1.      Promise to spoil their children rotten, then send them home.

2.      Give them the same blessing your parents gave you – may your children be just like you.

3.      Handle the craziness with humor.

You can sharpen your math skills when parenting a young adult. Here’s how:

1.      Subtract knee jerk, negative responses.

2.      Add positive comments.

3.      Multiply the amount of times you express your love and support.

 

What are your tips for parenting a young adult?

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - Kids Say the Darndest Things

 

YouTube Video: Remember the saying, Kids should be seen and not heard? Here's a fun example

Muffins with Mom – A Reflection in Parenting

 

It’s that time of year where store shelves are filled with spiral notebooks, crayons, pens, erasers, and backpacks. It’s an unspoken notification that it’s Back to School time. Although my cherubs are done with school, I stumbled upon a photo that drew me into a memory.

Along with the start of a new school year, comes picture day. During my sons second grade year I hadn’t decided whether I would purchase a package. We still had photos left from the two previous years. He hadn’t changed THAT much.

Well, the photography company took photos of all the students and sent them home for parents to preview and decide on a package. Great marketing on their part. The presentation was nice and included a plastic sheet of keychain photos.

The keychain photos were assembled in a way that they could be detached by snapping them from the plastic sheet. The sheet stated Do Not Detach unless you want to purchase. Can you guess what happened? I won’t keep you in suspense. My son detached each one of the six photos. There they were scattered on the table like a jigsaw puzzle.

The decision was made for me…we purchased a small photo package, and the detached keyring photos. Fast forward fifteen years – one of those keyring photos is still in good shape. It never made it onto a ring with keys, but found its way into a photo box, tucked away with other memories.

Parenting is full of ups and downs, but it’s the fond memories that make it all worthwhile.

What is one fun, back to school memory that you can reflect upon?

 

Fun Friday – National Humor Month -Read the Small Print

 

Where do you find humor? It’s not a mystery, extensive research is not needed, it’s often right in front of us. For me, it’s family…and other life situations.

Tupac Shakur was a popular rap artist in the 1990’s. One of my sons was born the same year that Tupac died, yet both of my sons talk about Tupac’s music as though they were around at the time of his fame. My older son surprised his brother by visiting him at college, with a birthday gift in hand. It was a small gesture, but one he knew his brother would appreciate. Maybe.

My older son entered his brothers’ apartment with a broad grin across his face and holding the gift behind his back. “I got you something.” He whipped out a rolled-up poster that had a quote along the side. “This is you Bro, read the quote.”

“…by the words of His mouth…okay, that’s nice.”

“It’s a Tupac poster.”

My younger son began unrolling the poster, “Um, I don’t think this is a Tupac poster.” Stars and constellations danced on the poster as my son read the entire  quote to his brother.

“By the word of the Lord the heavens were made and the stars, by the word of His mouth” – Psalm 33:6

As my son recanted this story to me over the phone I said, “Did you get Tupac confused with Jesus?”

I told my son about an old spiritual song parishioners used to sing at my grandfathers’ church. The lyrics were, take the Lord along with you everywhere you go; You’re gonna’ need Him, everywhere you go.

The poster error was one way of telling my sons they needed a little more Jesus and a little less Tupac. I still had one lingering question for my son, “How did you think you had a Tupac poster?”

The answer was simple, “I just grabbed the wrong one, the posters were all next to each other.”

Read the small print and know what you’re getting. It’s not always bad, just know what you’re getting.

Have you ever misread a label?

And because it’s National Humor Month, check out my YouTube video on other life situations that I’ve found humorous.

Wordless Wednesday - National Humor Month

 Laughing at life's challenges...can you relate?

Dave Schwensen's Comedy Showcase

Fun Friday – The Cinnamon Challenge

 

Photo Credit:  Food Hacks

I didn’t ask to play; I was thrown into the game. It happened by accident. My day was filled with meetings at work, one in person and two virtual. The light was dull in my workspace. My morning coffee cup held the brown stains of a warm beverage long gone. My body was beginning to crash.

My desk was filled with sticky notes. I moved them out of the way and pressed the button on my fancy desk, raising it until I was standing and staring directly at the screen. I was in a fight to stay awake, at 2pm in the afternoon, and I was losing the battle. No, I didn’t say awake late the night before. It must be that thing they call aging.

An idea hit me. I called my adult son, “Can you bring me a cup of coffee? You don’t have to go to the store, just make a cup at home and bring it to me.” I told him the way I like my coffee – a teaspoon of coffee, 2 sweetener packets, lots of cream. Oh, and a dash of cinnamon.

Somewhere along the way my son missed the part where I said a dash of cinnamon. He arrived at my job in less than 15 minutes with a large metal coffee mug in tow. The mug was cold to the touch, but when I slid the mouth of the lid open, the scent of cinnamon drifted to my nostrils. I thanked him and scurried off to my next meeting.

As I sipped in delight, my co-worker said, “Your coffee smells good.”

I was grateful to my son for going the extra mile to deliver the coffee, I said, “Yes, my son brought it to me.”

My meeting was productive, I was alert, my coffee was delicious, until…I got to the bottom of the cup. As I tilted the cup on my lips, I gagged, and coughed. It was similar to that cinnamon challenge going around where people were choking on dry cinnamon, for fun. I swirled the cup around in my hand to loosen the cinnamon then took a sip. Same results.

Finally, I gave up on drinking the coffee to the last sip and attempted to pour the remainder down the drain. Except it sat there in a clump. I filled the cup with water, several times to wash away the mound of cinnamon.

I called my son, “Um, how much cinnamon did you put in my coffee?”

“I opened the container and scooped out a teaspoon.”

Can you hear the scream in my voice?

I said, “I only needed a dash.”

“Oh, well it wasn’t a full teaspoon.”

And that was my cinnamon challenge.

The lesson I learned was that I must speak clearly, be specific, and double check that I am understood.

What is a funny challenge that you have faced recently?

Fun Friday – The lighter side of parenting

Guess who?

“A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle comes from the belly; but a good laugh bursts forth, from the soul, overflows, and bubbles all around.”

                                                                                                                              -Carolyn Birmingham

I participated in a pageant recently. There were many days of rehearsals and outings with the other ladies. My mom was excited about my journey as a contestant. One day she was talking with an acquaintance about the pageant. She told the woman, “My daughter is in a pageant.”

The woman said, “Oh, how old is your little girl?”

My mom said, “She’s 51.”

The Birthday

A friend recently celebrated her birthday 40 something birthday. On the morning of my friend’s birthday, her twelve year old daughter burst into her bedroom.

“Guess who’s turning 45?” her daughter said.

“Not me,” my friend said. “I’m 44.”

“Mom, I thought you were 45. I guess I messed that one up.”

“Yes, you did. You can run back over to the door and start over.”

Aging

The last time I had to renew my drivers’ license at the Secretary of State office. The clerk had me read an eye chart. She could clearly see that I was wearing glasses, so why put me through the torture of squinting and trying to read those little letters? But she did.

I pressed my forehead against the desk top machine and tried to adjust my eyes in the appropriate lenses (glasses on). The letters were fading in an out and looked like they were floating. I read them aloud very slowly, A….E…no, B. She stopped me and said, “thank you.”

She took out her industrial sized stamper and stamped my paper work. When I looked at the paper, the large red words read, CORRECTIVE LENSES. I could have just told her that I need my glasses to drive.

Find something today that makes you grin, chuckle or just burst out in laughter. Remember that a smile increases your face value.