Monday Musings – The Day I Almost Became Part of the Exhibit

 

Life is too short to be embarrassed; This is what I told myself the day I almost became part of an exhibit. As a result of this episode I stumbled upon my new mantra – I may be aging, but I’m still rocking the boat.

You’re probably familiar with the saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Well, take good look at the photo included with this blog post; it has a story to tell.

It was an atypical workday, the rare occasion where I escort a group on a trip. We enjoyed a tasty dinner that was pleasing to the palate. As we waited for the entertainment to begin…I became the entertainment. It was comical, but I was not performing comedy.

A large group of us stepped outside of the venue to absorb serene atmosphere- a sandy  ocean front, the sun setting, and a relaxing fire pit. I would be remiss if I did not mention the replica sailboat that sat on slats near the sandy area. It was a perfect spot for photos.

I watched as several people posed standing in front of the sailboat or sitting on its edge. Then it was my turn, I excitedly plopped on the front edge of the boat. It rocked, swayed…almost capsized.

I hoped up, took a bow, and asked those who took pictures before me, “why didn’t you warn me?” That replica sailboat couldn’t handle my hips. There should have been a warning sign, a weight limit, something to deter me from mounting that boat.

One of my travelers was doubled over with laughter. When she caught her breath and regained her composure, she began singing, “Rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby. Rock the boat don’t tip the boat over.”

I joined the clamor, raised my arms as though I had just received a score of 10 on a balance beam dismount. In that moment, I realized you’re never too old to make a spectacle of yourself.

Below are 5 ways you can survive embarrassment by finding the funny.

1.      Give yourself permission to laugh.

2.      Change the question from “Why me?” to “Why is this funny?”

3.      Use humor as a reset. A good laugh can change the emotional temperature of the entire situation.

4.      Ask, “Will this matter 5 years from now?” If not, you might as well enjoy telling your story.

5.      Celebrate your ability to recover. Sometimes the funniest part isn’t what happened but how you handled it.

I’m learning to grow older without growing too serious. How do you handle an embarrassing situation?

Monday Musings – When Your Biggest Fashion Critic Lives in Your House

 

There was a time when I was worried about what my boss would think of an outfit I wore. Those were the simpler days. Now before I can even grab my car keys, I have to survive a full-blown fashion review from my adult son. He’s the self-appointed CEO of Closet Corrections. I can leave the house wearing confidence, but somehow five minutes with him has me wondering if I accidentally got dressed in the dark.

Our conversation the other day was my fault, I already knew the answer when I asked the question. I think I just needed confirmation. Before I get to the question, I need to briefly share the backstory.

Lately, I’ve been dealing with the bulging belly of menopausal bloatedness. My comfort clothes have become anything with an elastic waistband. When it came to deciding what to wear to work on casual Friday, I immediately eliminated jeans. An obstacle appeared when I decided to wear my blue logo staff shirt, made of soft breathable material.

The scavenger hunt began to find pants to accompany the shirt I’d chosen. My blue capri pants had a button missing, and I was not in the mood to fight with a safety pin. My beige ankle length pants would have been ideal, but I had already worn them that week. Fast forward three outfit changes…

I grabbed my Pepto-Bismol colored leggings, pulled them on with ease, along with my blue l polo work shirt. I entered the doorway of my son’s bedroom and shook him awake, “Does this look okay to wear to work?”

“Did you get dressed in the dark? Those colors give baby shower vibes. Your co-workers are going to think you’re going to a gender reveal.”

My son’s statement solved my wardrobe issue – I changed clothes and finished preparing for work. My fashion critic had spoken. This time my closet didn’t betray me, my son did. However, I survived the morning fashion intervention.

Here’s my closet confidential, tips on how to survive when your clothes try to betray you:

1.      Appreciate elastic waistbands – the older you get, the more you should appreciate elastic waistbands, and stop apologizing for it.

2.      Remember: your style doesn’t have to earn your kid’s approval – it just has to survive their commentary,

3.      Confidence is wearing what you love, even if your in-house stylist disagrees.

4.      The best accessory is a sense of humor

Through my fashion mishap, I’ve begun to wonder  whether “comfortable” and “fashion” are allowed in the same sentence. One thing I know for sure…I’ll continue to celebrate me; and you should do the same.

If you are facing a challenge here is a quote to encourage your forward momentum:

“Storms don’t last forever, but the strength they build does.”

Monday Musings – Confessions of a brain-fogged mammogram patient

 

My brain left me in the waiting room. This wasn’t my first rodeo; I’ve been through the mammogram process countless times. However, this time the brain fog was thick. The receptionist walked me to changing room as she rattled off instructions.

“Have you been here before?” she asked.

“Yes.”

The receptionist continued her script rapid fire as we walked, “undress from the waist up, take a gown from the cabinet, leave it open in the front, put your things in a locker…”

As soon as she walked away, I stood dumfounded – what had she just said? Do I need to take off my socks and shoes?

Then I looked up and saw the note on the wall near the cabinet that held the gowns – remove clothing from the waist up. Ah ha, the brain fog was lifting; I remembered what I needed to do.

For customer convenience, there was a label on the inside of the cabinet, indicating the sizes of the robes, there was Small/Medium and Large/X-Large. I decided to try a Medium, knowing that I can’t fit anything in medium unless is socks or gloves. I tried anyway.

I slid my arms into the wide openings for arms and thought I was on my way. Nope. That robe fit like a crop top. The length hit right at my belly button and the girth would not allow me to close the gown. It fit like a vest I used to wear in the fifth grade with my Gaucho pants (remember those, wide-legged cropped pants that hit at the knee).

Instead of busting out of the gown like the Incredible Hulk, I removed it and tossed it into the bin for used gowns. My guess was that I’d grabbed the small size by accident, so I reached for a gown from the next shelf. Same result. I tossed that one in the used gown bin too.

For fear of being found out for creating so much dirty laundry, I yanked the Large/X-Large gown from a shelf and put it on. This gown had enough room for me and a small child. It was better than being too small.

There was only one thing left to do before I was ready for the exam room…stuff all my belongings into the six-inch-wide locker. No, I didn’t measure the locker, I eyeballed it. My lapse in memory did not remind me to take a smaller purse to my appointment. It was enough to remember not to wear deodorant, lotion, perfume, and arrive 15 minutes early.

I pulled hand lotion, a mini tissue pack, my wallet and a couple of other items from my purse, then folded it over and crushed it into the locker. Success. I slammed the locker shut and waited only a couple of minutes before being called into the exam room.

After striking several contorted poses, my exam was done. My brain was no longer feeling mentally sluggish. If you’ve ever experienced brain fog, you know it can make even familiar tasks feel like you’re doing them for the first time. Confession…you are not alone.

While navigating through the stages of life, add a dash of humor to make the journey interesting.

 

 

Monday Musings – Travel Wisdom with a Smile – 3 Tips and a Story

 

A vacation should be relaxing, enjoyable, and fun. When you travel with a mindset of joy you are prepared for your journey. There is no need to stress over what souvenirs to purchase for friends or family. The best souvenir is a good story.

Let me share my experience through tips and stories.

3 Travel Tips

1.      Don’t track time, live in the moment. There is no need to rush from one activity to another, breathe, and enjoy each step of the journey. Speaking of steps…

On a recent trip, my family and I decided to walk to our destination. My son entered the address in his GPS, He announced to us, “It’s only six minutes from where we are.”

We walked, window shopped, and browsed inside a couple of stores. We continued our walk, navigating our way around crowded sidewalks. My feet led me up inclines, over a bridge, and finally to a store for a restroom stop.

After about twenty minutes I said, “Are we almost there?”

My son looked at his phone and said, “Oh yeah, I realized I had the GPS set to driving time.”

Our six-minute destination turned out to be over thirty minutes. However, we rested near a fountain, enjoyed viewing the architectural structures around us, and collected memories.

 

2.      Take photos. Capture your memories through photos. Let your hair down, take candid pictures, goofy ones, playful ones. I came across a quote that I like, it said, “A journey is best measured in smiles not miles.”

 

3.      Try at least one local food. One day we tried the Chicago deep dish pizza. Another day we dined at Gordon Ramsay Burger. During our Uber ride my son said, “Ma, you know who Gordon Ramsay is don’t you?”

“Yes, he’s the guy who wrote Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and he does motivational speaking.”

“No. You’re thinking about Dave Ramsey and he’s a finance guy. He may have written a book, but not the one you’re talking about. That’s a different guy.”

The food at Gordon Ramsay Burger was delicious, and we shared a good laugh at my expense. Of course I took a photo of the food. Well, I got a photo of my son’s burger; my salad was half eaten when I thought about taking a photo.

With our palates pleased and our bellies fun we headed back to our accommodations, played a few card games, then off to bed for me.

 

As I close out this blog post while sitting at the train station, I hear an announcer over the intercom say, “Train 452 to…has been cancelled. We will secure buses to get everyone to their destination.”

 

Every trip adds another chapter to your story. And now I must follow my own advice and travel with a mindset of joy. I will not stress over the small things; besides I brought a book to read, and it’s pretty good.

 

Bonus tip…pack your patience.

 

What is one thing about your last vacation that made you smile?

 

Monday Musings – Gold Medals & Gold Bond: My Senior Olympics Training Journey

 

I arrived home from work one day excited and said to my son, “I’m thinking about participating in the Senior Olympics this year. I could run the 100-meter or 400-meter race.”

After a pregnant pause, he said, “is your health insurance up to date? Maybe you should contact your doctor before starting a strenuous activity.”

His sarcasm did not go unnoticed. He was rewarded with an eye roll from me and a threat to remove him from my favorite youngest son list.

Running has never been in my wheelhouse, but after reviewing the categories on the participant registration, I eliminated nearly all of them. I could throw a frisbee, but it would probably end up in a tree, or whack anyone in its path. A friend said, “why don’t you play cornhole? All you have to do is throw a bean bag.”

“Have you ever  watched cornhole players? They shake that bag, position it a certain way in their hand, and then release it. There is a skill to it.” I gave her the same eyeroll I usually reserve for my son.

I had a rationale for deciding to participate in the race portion of the Olympics. I figured that since I exercise regularly, a few times a week, I should be able to run a short distance really fast. Bless my heart, that was not the case. After the first training session with my son I knew I  would need hustle, heart, and heating pads if I was going to take on the title of athlete for the senior Olympics.

I changed my workout regimen; I stretched more and focused my strength training on areas beneficial to runners. After my first training session my muscles were sore in areas where I didn’t know I had muscles. When we returned home from the track, I had to drag one leg up the flight of stairs to my bedroom.

My son said, “Ma, your hip muscles are not strong because you don’t do that type of exercise regularly.” And for that reason, it was several days (recovery time) before day two of training.

Day two of training was a walk, jog through my neighborhood. I needed to practice my breathing. My first time running I think I was panting more than breathing. My son who was a hurdler and ran the 400 meter in high school, said, “take deep breaths in through your nose and slowly exhale.”

My coach and motivator jogged along side of me as I paced my running and breathing. I made it one block then the next. As I began to push faster to the last block, we passed a neighbor who was in her front yard. I heard her shout, “you got this!”

I pushed through that last block, satisfied that I reached my goal and beat my time from the first day of training.

During college I was a volunteer at the Special Olympics. Their motto was – Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.” I am adopting that same motto as I participate in the Senior Olympics.

If I don’t win a Gold Medal, I’m sure I can be a representative for brand – Gold Bond. Their products are good for minor aches, sore muscles, and aging skin. I’m going for the Gold anyway. You should too. Whether you’re running a physical race, setting goals, or taking on something challenging…you got this. 

Train like you want it, visualize it, and speak it into existence.

Monday Musings – The Crossover – A Perspective on Aging

  

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word crossover? Because I have sons who have played basketball, my first inclination is a basketball reference.

I see my son dribbling the ball down the right side of the court, dashing in front of an opposing player. Crossing to the other side of the court, he stops and shoots the ball from the three-point line…swish. Nothing but net.

Well, this story is not about basketball, but it was nostalgic reminiscing about being a basketball mom. This story is in fact about aging – things you don’t see coming. Your body can change when you least expect it.

I’ve heard people debate about what age a person starts to feel old. I haven’t conducted a survey, but considering a couple of recent encounters, I say that age is sixty. Here’s my story…

On a much-needed vacation, I indulged in a lot of sightseeing and taking photos. I struck a pose inside a botanical garden, then another in front of an outdoor fountain, and others while sitting on a park bench. The sun was shining and I was feeling relaxed, sassy, and stylish, until…

While enjoying dinner on a restaurant patio with my mom, I scrolled through my phone and showed her the photos we’d taken throughout the day. She zoomed in on a photo I thought was cute and shared the same sentiment. It was one of me  basking in the sunshine while sitting on a bench.

Mom pointed to the photo and said, “I like this one, but what is that on your stomach?”

It was my turn to inspect the photo. I removed my glasses (designed for nearsightedness),  squinted, and stared at the picture. I saw what mom was looking at and said, “do you mean my boobs?!”

Sagging boobs… is this one of the signs of old age that you don’t see coming? Could this be resolved with a good Victoria Secret push-up bra? If that fails, the next option may be a hoist.

I thanked mom for her observation and vowed to tuck away the blouse that told the world that I was aging without grace. Or did I just accomplish that with this blog post?

Yep, I have crossed over into the land of aging, but it’s okay. Like fine wine, I’m going to make each year better with time, and so should you.

Live each day with an attitude of gratitude, no matter what, find something to be grateful for.

 

 

 

Monday Musings - When compliments Take a Sharp Left Turn

 

                                         The perfect companion to a comfortable stylish dress. 

I am a dress kind of girl. I like wearing dresses because they feel less restrictive than pants; especially when my weight is up. One Sunday morning I spent countless minutes trying on dresses for church, until I found one that made my bulges appear smaller. Success. I pulled  my a-lined knee length, cotton dress over my head, pulled on a pair of black tights with hues of gold sparkles, then completed the look with black patent leather 3-inch chunky heeled shoes.

I bundled up and rushed off to church. Once inside the church I shed my bulky coat, exchanged pleasantries with a few people in the room, then chatted with a friend nearby. I sauntered over to the coffee table and back. Another friend walked over, interrupted us, to pay me a compliment…I think.

You may be familiar with the moment. Someone opens their mouth, clearly aiming for a compliment, and somehow the words make a sharp left turn into Wait… what did you just say? territory. You smile.  You may even say “thank you,” while your brain quietly pulls the comment apart like a detective with too much caffeine. It wasn’t rude—on purpose. It wasn’t intentional—hopefully. But it definitely wasn’t what your self-esteem ordered, and now you’re stuck replaying it on a loop you never asked for.

My friend giving the compliment leaned in and said, “you look good. Most people who gain weight, it doesn’t look good on them. It looks good on you; you carry it well.”

I chuckled and said, “thanks,” with a quizzical look on my face. However, I did tell my friend, “You can have my extra pounds, I’d rather not have them.”

I don’t think my friend realized her comment could have come across as offensive. But because I know her personality, I knew she did not mean to offend. And because of who I am, I was not offended…and I will turn the situation into comedy.

Sometimes a comment can take a wrong turn. When this happens, you can get upset about it…or not. In this situation, I chose to uncover the humor.

Have you ever experienced a compliment gone wrong? Were you the giver or receiver of the compliment?

 

 

Monday Musings – Grace That Doesn’t Roll Its Eyes

 

I’ve discovered my superpower; it’s the ability to turn a simple task into a climb up Mount Kilimanjaro. I’m not a climber, a marathon runner, nor a hiker. You may see me break into the occasional jog, but that will be due to me running from something.

A bumble bee, yellow jacket, or hornet, waiting to sink its tarsal claws into a blemish free area on my body can throw me into a fight or flight motion. And that would be the first sign of my lack of grace in the physical sense.

A friend asked me to speak at their church. I accepted the assignment, confident that I could manage the task. All I had to do was speak for 12-15 minutes. However, as the date drew nearer, I had a lot of questions. Am I the only person speaking? Is there a theme? Who is my audience?

The church was a different denomination than the church I attend, I began to wonder – what version of the Bible do they use? Do they refer to Jesus as Christ, Lord? Do they make reference to God, the Mother Mary, or the Holy Trinity? By this point I’m going on my figurative journey up Kilimanjaro without hiking boots. I dove into my meditation training with a mantra, deep breaths Ang, you can do this.

My saving grace (pun intended) was that I would use humor in my talk. The only guidelines my friend gave me were – “it’s not stand-up comedy, but feel free to share stories. You can use scriptures or include a hymn, but you don’t have to.”

A hymn!? No way, I was not going to let my secret out during a first encounter. I reserve my off-key shower singing voice for the folks at my church who roll their eyes in love each time I open my mouth to sing. Eye rolling, I had come up with a way to tie in humor the topic of my talk. This blossomed into the title – Grace that doesn’t role its eyes.

God’s grace does not role its eyes at the many crazy situations we find ourselves in or the pleas we make when feeling desperate. Grace, undeserving favor that God gives us, is a gift. I am so glad to have that favor because I need it in all situations.

As I  enter the intimate setting of the church space where I was speaking, I was greeted with hugs by some of the parishioners. One of them said, “Are you the minister for the day?”

In my thought bubble I said, ooo is that what I’m doing? With a bright smile I said, “I guess so.”

The woman pointed to a high back chair up front that had a red velvet back and cushion. She said, “You can sit up there.”

In my self-talk I said, Jesus take the wheel, this is a larger role than I thought I was doing.

I prayed, took a few deep breaths, relaxed, and presented my message. God’s grace came to the rescue again. This situation that I turned into a climb up Kilimanjaro, went well.

After the church service, there was one final episode where God could have rolled his eyes. The friend who invited me to their church asked me to sign the guest book, which was on a table at the back of the room. I began to sign my name, then noticed that the title across the top of the sheet read, Potluck.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation and mumbled to myself, I think it’s time to go home. But I didn’t. I chatted with the parishioners, gave final goodbyes then went home to decompress.

Monday Musings – ‘Tis the Season

 

Cheesecake that a coworker made and brought to work -delicious and brought joy to my palate.

‘Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la, la, la,la la la laaa. Every day is a new opportunity to experience joy or make your day jolly. However, the Holiday season can challenging for some people. How do you hurdle over challenges? I use humor. Let’s  be food.

The eating season begins with Halloween, whether you observe this holiday or not, there’s plenty of sweet treats to tempt your taste buds. In the office where I work there is the “candy lady.”  If you have a craving for chocolate, she has it. Need a piece of hard candy for your throat? She has that too. My job is a threat to my girlish figure (that’s hiding somewhere deep inside my plumpness).

Have you ever noticed that as soon as Halloween ends, there’s only a pit stop to celebrate Thanksgiving. Before you can even decide who’s coming to Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas is knocking at the door. I love the Christmas season. We celebrate the birth of Christ, but there is also a lot of food involved. There are programs at church that involve food; visits with family that offer lots of food choices. Then there is the office, where everyone brings in leftover food they don’t want to keep at home.

Cheesecake aftermath...the empty plate

I’m feeling bloated just thinking about all the delicious food I consume during the Holidays. Humorist Erma Bombeck once said, “If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” This leads me to a story. I was chatting with co-workers last week, around the proverbial water cooler (we have one, but that’s not where we were chatting).

My supervisor was telling us about a new dog he has. Two of my colleagues were engaged and making comments. Next my supervisor tells us the size of his dog, “hew pretty big, he weighs 167 pounds.” My thought seeped from my head and I said, “I wish I weighed 167 pounds. Those were the good old days.”

Yes, indeed, the good old days. I’m still trying to lose my post pregnancy weight…it’s been 29 years. Perhaps the reason I’m not losing weight like I want to be is because I have so many jokes about my weight in my comedy sets. Yes, that must be the reason.

This is the season to be jolly, and I plan to do just that. I experience joy each time I share it with someone else. Whether you experience the battle of the bulge during the Holiday or struggle with something else, acknowledge it and move forward. Make time for self-care – smile more, giggle, relax. You can do it.

Monday Musings – Muscles, Meditation, and a Hot Mess

 

My mornings consist of meditation with a side of coffee. I sit criss cross apple sauce (legs crossed) on a cushion on the floor. You may think I’m bragging because I’m over the age of fifty and can still cross my legs. My secret is that uncrossing my legs is sometimes a theatrical production that involves rocking, stretching, and twisting. I have even ended up in a Downward Dog yoga pose to help me untangle. But I digress. Back to the story…

I woke up excited for a new day, a day of accomplishments. My goal was to kick off my week strong with meditation then a 30-minute workout. I opened my laptop and clicked on my favorite meditation app. As I lifted my head I felt a slight pull in my neck. My forehead creased as I scrunched my eyes in thought – did I just pull a neck muscle?

I tilted my head like a dog does when listening for a sound. A burst of pain traveled from the back of my neck around to the top of my left shoulder. It was official, I pulled a muscle doing absolutely nothing. It became clear to me why people say, getting old is not for the faint of heart.”

There I sat on my bedroom floor contemplating my next move – go ahead and meditate or get up and medicate? Before I could decide, I felt heat rising in my body; It was a hot flash, brought on by the coffee I sipped on just before attempting to meditate. Yes, caffeine can trigger hot flashes.

At that point I was hot, sweaty, experiencing discomfort, and had not begun to exercise. I tried to take a few deep breaths to relax, but even that made my neck hurt. I was a hot mess. Feeling like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, I leaned to one side and peeled my legs from the floor, one vertebra at a time.

Although my neck muscle decided to do its own thing, I was glad my leg muscles stood firm in their role. They got me from the floor to the shower without any crazy episodes. I let the hot shower water gently pound my neck and shoulder for longer than my usual shower takes, but it felt good.

I refused to let that muscle spasm, tweak, or whatever you want to call it, derail my day. I made it to work, then called my mommy to bring me an Icy Hot patch. That was one day I was glad I didn’t have any meetings, because I was walking around smelling like menthol.

And the moral of the story…persevere. You can do it. Side note...meditation is not for the faint of heart.

What situation have you had to persevere through recently?

 

Monday Musings – Lost in Space

 

There was a popular TV show in the 1960’s called Lost in Space. After an expedition had gone wrong, the characters were always trying to find their way home, amidst challenges thrown in their path.

I was lost in space the morning I took my glasses off…and couldn’t find them. Lucky for me I knew the blueprint of my bedroom in the dark. As far as I had gotten was from the bed to the bathroom, which is comparable to…

I pulled my glasses off to look at my phone up close and got caught in the vortex of scrolling through social media, then poof. I realized I didn’t have my glasses on, but they were nowhere to be found. My recourse was to wander through the jungle of my bedroom. It felt like Jurassic Park opened. The army of stuffed animals on my dresser looked like enemies preparing to attack.

Moving around the room like Velma from Scooby Doo (without her glasses), I extended my arms in front of me, feeling around the dresser and other spaces for the glasses. My biggest fear was that I had set them on a pillow where I might accidentally crush them. Then the light bulb came on literally and figuratively speaking.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

I remembered my second pair of glasses were in my purse. I had put them there the day before because I wanted to change my look. I put on my spare glasses and continued my search…without success. I sat down to draft this story, and thirty minutes later, I remembered another place I hadn’t checked, and that’s where I found them…in the linen closet.

My spectacles were sitting on top of a stack of folded towels, awaiting my return. I had taken them off to read the small print on a medicine bottle.

It’s so easy to become preoccupied with something that we are oblivious to things happening around us. After finding my glasses I put both pairs in their cases, put them on the dresser, and took ten minutes to meditate. I needed a reset for my morning.

After my meditation, I was no longer lost in space, I was ready for the day.

Have you ever become so consumed with something you’re doing that you are not present with what is happening around you? Don’t become lost in space. It’s okay to be focused but also be alert, be aware.

Share a funny episode that has happened to you.

Monday Musings – When Laughter is Your Go To Self-Care

 

Have you ever heard the statement, “You can’t pour from an empty cup?” What is your understanding of that statement? For me it means that you take care of yourself before you can help others (I read that somewhere). After you read this post, I want you to leap into action and do something for yourself, and don’t talk yourself out of it.

This week I’m pouring back into my cup through comedy. The root of my passion for comedy is three-fold:

1.      I like to write, and I like humor.

2.      Hearing laughter during a comedy performance is exhilarating.

3.     There is joy in knowing others are having a good time engaging in laughter and taking a break from life’s daily stressors.

As I write this blog post, I am preparing for upcoming shows this week. Every comedian prepares their set differently. My process begins with collecting ideas. When I observe something that I find funny, I write it down or snap a picture. It could be a phrase I overhear, or a sign posted somewhere that makes no sense.

One day my son and I were in different areas of the house, I yelled for him to do something for me. The thing is I called him by his brother’s name instead of his name. He then says, “Do I need to wear a name tag?”

I rolled my eyes and said, “that’s why you end up in my comedy sets.”

I mentioned in a previous post that my son and I were taking a comedy class together. Well, that class has ended and it’s time for our class showcase. If you’re in the area, stop by and catch a few laughs. I’ll share a snippet of what I plan to talk about.

The premise (main topic) of my set is homeownership, more specifically, the frustrating things that happen related to a homeowner’s association. This is new material, so I’ll test it out at an open mic tonight before I perform at the class showcase.

This is the first set in a while that I haven’t included some antic about my son. I can’t say the same about him. He talks a little about homeownership too, but I’m the punchline to his joke.

My son hasn’t said that he plans to become a comedian, but he’s had fun testing out his comedic side on stage. I, on the other hand, plan to continue to spread the joy of laughter and uncover humor in everyday situations.

Laughter is at the top of my list for things to include in my self-care. Refuel, reenergize and refill your cup. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of you.

Laugh long, laugh hard, and laugh often.

 

 

 

Monday Musings – Loads of Trouble: A Laundromat Adventure Gone Wrong

 

The best laid plans sometimes go awry…then you pivot. My peaceful Saturday was hijacked by a host of unplanned activities. My pre-planned agenda included hanging around the house – working on a writing project, decluttering an area I’ve been putting off, then leaving the house for outdoor adventures. 

At some point during the day, I knew I wanted to go to the laundromat to wash the blanket I keep across the foot of my bed. It’s one of those thick fleece blankets that keep you warm when your body settles into the coolness of fresh bed sheets.

I planned ahead and placed the blanket in the trunk the night before, so I wouldn’t forget it when I went out to run errands. Before the birds updated their morning playlist, I was up for my morning coffee and meditation. This was followed by my symphony of tasks that included – starting the dishwasher, a load of laundry, working on comedy. All by 8am on a Saturday.

I felt like a Superhero. I called a friend and said, “Hey, what time is that Walk for a Cure? I might be able to make it after all.”

“It’s at 9.”

“I’ll see you there.”

It would take less than 15 minutes to drive to the event location. A 9 am start time would give me time to participate in the walk then get to the bank before they closed at noon. I needed quarters for the laundromat.

As the best laid plans go, there was an interruption; the 5K walk didn’t start until 10am. It was all the pre activities that began at 9. All was not lost, I visited the vendors, got my face painted, got my body moving with the warmup stretches. However, I did have to leave before the walk ended, in order to make it to the bank on time.

My plotted-out plan was redirected because I remembered that I wanted to go by Sam’ Club for a couple cases of water and Skinny Pop popcorn. Sam’s Club was ten minutes from the event location, so I stopped by there before dashing across town to the bank.

Since I had time to spare, I stopped by the laundromat on the way to the bank, to see how much it would cost to wash the comforter. The laundromat was only a couple of miles from the bank.

Proud that I had accomplished this just before noon, I returned to the laundromat ready to wash. I carried the oversized bundle in my arms and stuffed it into one of the front load washers. It’s been a while since I visited the laundromat, so I read the directions.

Insert clothes.

Twist handle.

Add detergent…

I stood like a deer in headlights…I had no detergent.

Although it would have only taken me 10 minutes to go home and retrieve my detergent, I didn’t want to. I had been home once to drop off the cases of water and a couple of unplanned refrigerated items I’d purchased.

I left the comforter in the washer, got back in my car and drove up the street to Kroger (across from the bank). I purchased the smallest container of laundry detergent that I could find. In less than fifteen minutes, I was back at the laundromat, adding detergent, and feeding quarters to the washer like a slot machine.

My advice (although you didn’t ask), don’t overload your schedule. However, if your best laid plans go awry…go with the flow.

 

Monday Musings – The Joke Thief – A Comedic Lesson

 

Comedy 101 Class - Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle

As an active child playing freeze tag on the school playground, I heard my fair share of name calling. If someone was accused of cheating, the other child let the insults fly, but they didn’t fight (on most occasions).

I remember on child chanting, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I was that child; I didn’t like to fight. My grandmother taught me that chant. It was corny but clever.

Fast forward to modern day me. I’ve been called many names, some good, bad, funny. Well, I can now add joke thief to arsenal of glossy language. Can you guess who called me that? It was my son, the one who is taking a comedy class with me.

The joke he claimed I stole was related to a statement he said to me in a random conversation at home. It was about the comforts of his house versus my house. We both laughed and I said, “I gotta use that for my Humor Happy hour video.” My guess is that he didn’t hear that part of the statement.

My son told me he was telling a friend one of the jokes he was developing for our comedy class. The friend said, “I think I heard that before.”

He said, “How could you have heard it, I haven’t said it in public yet.” 

“On your mom’s TikTok.” The friend pulled out their phone and clicked on TikTok; And there it was. 

My response to the joke thief accusation was, “you did not say you were going to use that as a joke. It was a random funny observation.”

Like kids on a playground, we had a (friendly) banter going back and forth.

“Ma, can you please wait until I at least say my jokes on stage before you repeat them?”

I made an agreement with my son that I wouldn’t share any of his jokes…in public. I might tell my mom…or my brother, but not the “public.”

I reminded my son that many of my jokes come from observational humor; things that I see happen around me and to me. As he now knows well, things he and his brother say aloud, become fodder for comedy.

I read my son my Miranda rights of comedy:

“You have the right to remain silent in my presence; anything you say, can and will appear in my comedy.”

What situation has brought a little humor to your life recently?

 

 

 

Monday Musings – What I have in common with Janet Jackson

 

It’s true, Janet Jackson and I have something in common – we’re both women, she’s a singer, I am too (not as well, actually I sound better when music drowns me out). Our closet connection is that we’ve both experienced a wardrobe malfunction…in public.

If you have ever had an embarrassing moment, you will be able to relate to my story. It happened early on a Sunday morning. I was on the devotion team at church, which meant I stood at the front of the church with a few other people at the beginning of service.

During devotion someone reads a scripture, another prays, and all of us lead the parishioners in a song. Singing. This was my opportunity to sing loudly, off key, and hope no one noticed. I sang my heart out. In my mind I had the moves of Janet Jackson, the soulful sound of Aretha Franklin, and the beard of Barry White.

As I was singing, the neckline of my dress felt like it was choking me. I tugged at the fabric, but the discomfort was still there. Once we finished singing, I returned to the pew and pulled at my neckline again. I looked at the inside of the dress and saw writing, it was the tag. My dress was on backwards!

You may be asking, how did she manage to wear her dress backwards? Well, my dress has the same pattern on the front and back. The tag that identifies the size was not an actual label; there was only writing. So, I wore my dress proudly, backwards for the next two hours, until I could get home and pull it off.

Once I got home, I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. These were the clothes of comfort that I knew would not betray. Just for fun I grabbed my karaoke microphone and began singing one of Janet Jackson’s songs - Funny How time Flies When You’re Having Fun. Did you just start singing that tune in your head?

The only thing I really have in common with Janet Jackson is that we’re that same age, and that little malfunction with our clothing.

What is something weird, funny or crazy that has happened to you lately?

Monday Musings - From Diapers to Departures - The Journey to an Empty Nest

One day you're changing diapers ad you wonder when your child will transition of of this stages. Then come the days of after school practices, rehearsals, and travel sports. Then one day it happens...your little birdie flies the coop.

Check out my story (page 22) in the Crazy Wisdom Monthly Journal.

Have you experienced being an empty nester? What was your experience?

Monday Musings – The strawberry farmer with the brown thumb

 

Happy Labor Day

Strawberries?

Aah, Labor Day, a day of rest – not for the strawberry farmer; that’s what I call my son. The role of a strawberry farmer requires year-round work, patience, and resilience to overcome challenges like weather and pests. My son’s end goal was to eat from the fruits of his labor, literally. There was only one thing standing in his way…his brown thumb.

Last year was the first time my son tried gardening, he planted watermelon and strawberry seeds (separately). The watermelon didn’t do so well, but the strawberries that sprouted gave him hope to try again this year. And that’s what he did, plant strawberries. The green thumb that my son thought he had turned out to be a brown thumb.

During the spring season, the strawberry seeds were planted in a container, provided with water, sunlight, and given tender loving care…according to my son. The other day we stood outside looking at his plants, and my son said, “I still don’t see any strawberries yet.” He pulled out his phone and talked to AI (artificial intelligence), Gemini.

“Gemini, how long should it take for strawberries to grow?”

“It should take five to six weeks after flowering,” Gemini said.

Looking at me wide-eyed and with a smirk on his face, my son said, “I don’t have flowers or anything.”

My son has an app that can identify problems with plants. He opened the app on his phone and asked, “How much longer do my strawberries need to grow?

Gemini responded, “Those aren’t strawberry plants.”

 My son says in a dejected voice, “I’ve been nurturing weeds since spring and replanting them with care.”

I told my son he had strawberries that refused to grow. After consulting Gemini once more, my son learned that he could turn his brown thumb into a green thumb. His first step was to learn more about his plants’ needs, proper soil condition, and the local environment.

My suggestion was that he also consult his dad, who had vegetables sprouting nicely (see photo below).

From the garden

Do you think you want to start a garden? Try it, just don’t ask my son or me for advice. We can tell you what NOT to do.

 

 

Monday Musings – National Wellness Month

 

Here we are halfway through the month of August, and I just discovered that this is National Wellness Month. Everything is becoming clear to me now, this must be why Weight Watchers keeps sending me emails inviting me to join.

Once upon a time and two kids ago, I was a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. The program worked for me, but life changed and so did my body. If no one has told you, let me tell you, your body will change. Ladies, your metabolism may turn on you, foods that you used to eat may affect your body differently.

Aging is not all doom and gloom, just know that you may need to shift some things. The things you did for health and wellness five years ago may need to look different. Remember nutrition, fitness, and sleep all affect your health and wellness. What do you do to be sure you have a balance of all these things? Do more of the things that bring you joy.

As you focus on a healthy lifestyle be sure to include activities that stimulate laughter. There are studies that say laughter can help lessen stress, anxiety, depression, and make you feel happier.

Did you know that happiness “lowers your risk for cardiovascular disease, lowers your blood pressure, enables better sleep, and improves your diet.” At least that’s what Google told me. These are enough reasons for me to use laughter as part of my self-care. I’ve found that laughing at some of my struggles (and turning them into comedy) makes them a little more bearable.

From weight gain to wild chin hairs, and wacky kids, humor is always lurking in everyday life situations. My weight gain/weight loss efforts consistently provide material for jokes. In the last couple of years, I’ve worked with a nutritionist and a fitness trainer (at different times), yet my body refuses to cooperate.

And my chin hairs, I get rid of them, and they find their way back, longer, stronger…and grey.

Use this month to jump start or continue focusing on your health and wellness and make it fun rather than a chore. I challenge you to find something funny every day for the rest of this month.

 

Monday Musings – The Grocery Store Gauntlet

 

A selection of blueberries

A few months ago, I participated in a Comedy Gauntlet. There were sixteen comedians, we each had 90 seconds to sling our jokes, make folks laugh, and hope our efforts would reward us with the title of Champion. The competition was lighthearted, and fun. This was not the same experience with my grocery store gauntlet.

A gave my grocery store visit the name “gauntlet” because it fit the definition that I came across. Gauntlet can be defined as “a series of challenging, dangerous, or unpleasant experiences – often with obstacles…giving you a hard time.” Yep, that fits my grocery store excursion.

As I entered the store and tried to grab a cart, I discovered a great deal of strength was needed to pull the carts apart. I don’t know who my grocery store has retrieving carts from the parking lot. I imagine the person to have the physique of the Incredible Hulk, and his temperament when jamming the carts together.

My attempt to pull the carts apart reminded me of playing tug of war as a child. I planted my feet in a firm stance, placed one hand on each cart. I began pulling one cart toward me, while pushing the other in the opposite direction. I’m pretty sure I was grunting loudly. After a few tries, I gave up on that row of carts and moved to the next one.

My first stop was at the produce section where I immediately became immersed in a math problem, fractions. For the love fruit smoothies in the summer, I was trying to determine the best deal on blueberries, the one pint for $6.99 or the 9.8 ounces that were two for $8.99.

You may look at that scenario and say, “that’s easy math” or “it depends on how many blueberries you want”. The bottom line was that I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to grab enough blueberries to get me through a week of smoothies. Now, if you love math, here’s a story problem for you.

If little Angie wants to make three smoothies in a week and she uses a ¼ cup of blue berries in each smoothie, how many 9-ounce containers of blueberries would she need?

When you have the answer to the story problem, post it for me and I’ll take the info along on my next shopping trip.

The next ingredient for my famous smoothie was strawberries. They looked fresh, then again, it could have been the overhead lights that made them look appealing. The price was right, they usually cost $5.99 per container, but were on sale, two for $6.99.

I grabbed the strawberry deal, but knew it meant I would need to make more than smoothies in the coming week. Experience has taught me that when strawberries are on sale, they are near the end of their shelf life and will need to be eaten within a few days.

I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed in the fruit section, but I wasn’t giving up yet. I was in the midst of my grocery store gauntlet; faced with one challenge after another. I still needed to select my melons, not for the smoothie, but just because I want other fruits for my meals.

Ah, the melons – watermelon and cantaloupe were what I wanted. Off I went to inspect the melons – sniff, thump and listen.  I thumped the watermelon, listened for a hollow sound, and hoped I had selected a sweet, ready to eat melon.

My grocery store gauntlet was NOT fun like the Comedy Gauntlet. I made it through because I knew I would transform the situation into humor at some point.

What exciting, wacky, or odd things have you encountered at the grocery store? Don’t stress about it, laugh at it.

Monday Musings - Gratitude served with a side of humor

 

A week without a razor, can you imagine what that looks like…if you have a menopausal mustache? I nearly experienced such a travesty on a recent vacation.  I am grateful that I had my pink Gillette double blade razor.

I won’t get into the debate over the use of razors versus tweezing or waxing. I will say that when it comes to hair in unwanted places, my motto is “hair today, gone tomorrow.”

On a trip with friends, I had many opportunities to express gratitude. One morning as I was washing my face with the white hotel washcloth, I noticed something white left behind under my chin. It looked like a small piece of cotton. I attempted to wipe it away, but my effort was futile.

Upon close scrutiny, with my head tilted back, chin in the air, and leaning toward the bathroom mirror, I came to a conclusion. What I thought was cotton, was really one, lone grey hair, fighting for survival. Well, not on my watch. I grabbed my Gillette double blade razor and swiped it away.

Satisfied with my temporarily smooth chin, I put the razor away. Those annoying hairs would return before the end of the week, but I would be ready.

It seems as I age, my hair grows where I don’t want it and disappears where I do want it. If you stand too closely in my personal space, you may notice that hairs have shifted from my eyebrows down to my chin. I am grateful to my chin for being so accommodating and welcoming. However, I’d rather the hairs disappear…like my waistline.

I’m not complaining, just navigating the maze of life through steamed eyeglasses due to hot flashes.

If I could choose a superpower, I would want it to be laughter. My cape would have the letters ‘LL’ branded on it for Lady Laughter. I would go around brightening people’s day by making them laugh. Wait. I do that now, with comedy.

I am grateful for humor, laughter and the opportunities that arise for me to share a giggle.

My challenge to you is to flip the script on any challenging situation this week. Instead of being frustrated, take a deep breath, and find the funny,