Monday Musings – When Your Biggest Fashion Critic Lives in Your House

 

There was a time when I was worried about what my boss would think of an outfit I wore. Those were the simpler days. Now before I can even grab my car keys, I have to survive a full-blown fashion review from my adult son. He’s the self-appointed CEO of Closet Corrections. I can leave the house wearing confidence, but somehow five minutes with him has me wondering if I accidentally got dressed in the dark.

Our conversation the other day was my fault, I already knew the answer when I asked the question. I think I just needed confirmation. Before I get to the question, I need to briefly share the backstory.

Lately, I’ve been dealing with the bulging belly of menopausal bloatedness. My comfort clothes have become anything with an elastic waistband. When it came to deciding what to wear to work on casual Friday, I immediately eliminated jeans. An obstacle appeared when I decided to wear my blue logo staff shirt, made of soft breathable material.

The scavenger hunt began to find pants to accompany the shirt I’d chosen. My blue capri pants had a button missing, and I was not in the mood to fight with a safety pin. My beige ankle length pants would have been ideal, but I had already worn them that week. Fast forward three outfit changes…

I grabbed my Pepto-Bismol colored leggings, pulled them on with ease, along with my blue l polo work shirt. I entered the doorway of my son’s bedroom and shook him awake, “Does this look okay to wear to work?”

“Did you get dressed in the dark? Those colors give baby shower vibes. Your co-workers are going to think you’re going to a gender reveal.”

My son’s statement solved my wardrobe issue – I changed clothes and finished preparing for work. My fashion critic had spoken. This time my closet didn’t betray me, my son did. However, I survived the morning fashion intervention.

Here’s my closet confidential, tips on how to survive when your clothes try to betray you:

1.      Appreciate elastic waistbands – the older you get, the more you should appreciate elastic waistbands, and stop apologizing for it.

2.      Remember: your style doesn’t have to earn your kid’s approval – it just has to survive their commentary,

3.      Confidence is wearing what you love, even if your in-house stylist disagrees.

4.      The best accessory is a sense of humor

Through my fashion mishap, I’ve begun to wonder  whether “comfortable” and “fashion” are allowed in the same sentence. One thing I know for sure…I’ll continue to celebrate me; and you should do the same.

If you are facing a challenge here is a quote to encourage your forward momentum:

“Storms don’t last forever, but the strength they build does.”

Wordless Wednesday - When your son becomes your fitness coach

 

YouTube: When your son becomes your fitness coach

I asked for support, I got a lecture

Monday Musings – Confessions of a brain-fogged mammogram patient

 

My brain left me in the waiting room. This wasn’t my first rodeo; I’ve been through the mammogram process countless times. However, this time the brain fog was thick. The receptionist walked me to changing room as she rattled off instructions.

“Have you been here before?” she asked.

“Yes.”

The receptionist continued her script rapid fire as we walked, “undress from the waist up, take a gown from the cabinet, leave it open in the front, put your things in a locker…”

As soon as she walked away, I stood dumfounded – what had she just said? Do I need to take off my socks and shoes?

Then I looked up and saw the note on the wall near the cabinet that held the gowns – remove clothing from the waist up. Ah ha, the brain fog was lifting; I remembered what I needed to do.

For customer convenience, there was a label on the inside of the cabinet, indicating the sizes of the robes, there was Small/Medium and Large/X-Large. I decided to try a Medium, knowing that I can’t fit anything in medium unless is socks or gloves. I tried anyway.

I slid my arms into the wide openings for arms and thought I was on my way. Nope. That robe fit like a crop top. The length hit right at my belly button and the girth would not allow me to close the gown. It fit like a vest I used to wear in the fifth grade with my Gaucho pants (remember those, wide-legged cropped pants that hit at the knee).

Instead of busting out of the gown like the Incredible Hulk, I removed it and tossed it into the bin for used gowns. My guess was that I’d grabbed the small size by accident, so I reached for a gown from the next shelf. Same result. I tossed that one in the used gown bin too.

For fear of being found out for creating so much dirty laundry, I yanked the Large/X-Large gown from a shelf and put it on. This gown had enough room for me and a small child. It was better than being too small.

There was only one thing left to do before I was ready for the exam room…stuff all my belongings into the six-inch-wide locker. No, I didn’t measure the locker, I eyeballed it. My lapse in memory did not remind me to take a smaller purse to my appointment. It was enough to remember not to wear deodorant, lotion, perfume, and arrive 15 minutes early.

I pulled hand lotion, a mini tissue pack, my wallet and a couple of other items from my purse, then folded it over and crushed it into the locker. Success. I slammed the locker shut and waited only a couple of minutes before being called into the exam room.

After striking several contorted poses, my exam was done. My brain was no longer feeling mentally sluggish. If you’ve ever experienced brain fog, you know it can make even familiar tasks feel like you’re doing them for the first time. Confession…you are not alone.

While navigating through the stages of life, add a dash of humor to make the journey interesting.