Monday Musings – Risk Taking – When your child wants adventure, but you want a signed waiver

 

Risk Taking - An Illusion Museum

My son recently announced that he wants to start taking more risks. My eyes twitched, followed by my head, and neck muscles. The sound from the back of my throat came out like a scream, “What?! I fight hard to keep you alive and safe as it is.”

In my mind his statement said, “Ma, I have decided to increase the likelihood of something happening to me.” Apparently, he meant taking chances, trying new things and stepping outside his comfort zone.

As parents we (you and I) raise our children to be independent, confident, and willing to try things. Then when they become independent you’re like, wait, I didn’t mean that independent. My son has me feeling like I need to create a maternal risk assessment department that evaluates every decision he makes.

Just for fun and to help us maintain our sanity, I’ve created a list of tips for parents of risk-taking children.

1.    Take a deep breath.
Then take another one. You may be taking a lot of deep breaths from now on.

2.    Ask yourself: “Is this actually dangerous, or just something I wouldn't do?”
There is a difference between dangerous and Mom doesn't like it.

3.    Remember: You raised them to be independent.
Unfortunately, they took you seriously.

4.    Try not to say, “I told you so.”
At least not immediately. Give it 30 seconds.

5.    Let them make some mistakes.
This is  difficult for parents because apparently we were not designed for this part.

6.    Resist the urge to give a 45-minute lecture.
They've already stopped listening at minute three.

7.    Remember that risk-taking can actually be a good thing.
Sometimes taking a chance leads to confidence, growth, opportunity and success.
Just make sure they're not taking the kind of risk that requires you to identify them at the hospital.

8.    Set boundaries without trying to control everything.
Your job isn't to remove every risk from their life.
It's to make sure they understand the difference between “bold move” and “bad decision.”

9.    Accept that you may never stop worrying.
Parenting doesn't come with an expiration date.
Apparently, neither does a parent’s anxiety.

During my son’s school aged days, I remember signing many permission slips, and participation waivers. As he transitions into adulthood, I feel that I should have my son sign a waiver; One that states that he will not engage in any high-risk activities that cause me anxiety.

What advice would you give to a parent of a child who wants to take more risks?

Monday Musings – Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone – Literally

 

I had rehearsed my presentation, checked my outfit, and prepared myself to stand in front of a room full of people. I was ready. Then the host of the event told me, “People usually take off their shoes in this space.”  Suddenly, I wasn’t just stepping outside my comfort zone—I was stepping outside my shoes.

I was invited to present about my creative journey through comedy. Little did I know that I would add fodder to my stories just by showing up. Standing inside the room, I looked down at my bare toes glaring back at me through my black sandals with the Velcro buckled strap. My little piggies were slightly prepared for viewing.

My pedicure from a month ago was barely hanging on. The lavender polish I selected was clinging for life at the edges of my toenails. Over the years I’ve learned to become comfortable speaking in public. However, I’ve never had to speak in public…barefoot. The theme of the presentation was ‘resilience.”

Before I even began my talk, I practiced resilience. I could have become apprehensive about taking off my shoes with no means to cover my toes. Instead, I shined a light on the situation. After I was introduced I told the group, “When I learned it is customary to remove your shoes in this room, I was worried you would see my hammer toe. Then I wondered – with my hot flashes, what else could I remove.”

The room erupted with laughter, I transitioned into an ice breaker, and everyone was relaxed including me. Sometimes you have to venture outside of your comfort zone. You just might discover something you like.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? What did you discover about yourself?

 

Fun Friday – Blessed Are the Candy Givers

 

There I was, sitting peacefully at church, when an innocent offer of candy sent my taste buds on a journey they did not consent to take. It was my fault. I asked my friend for a piece of candy. My throat felt like the Sahara Desert - dusty and dry.

It was one of those days where I probably should have spent a little more time building a relationship with rest. My energy was like the gas tank of my car, leaning toward low. My breakfast consisted of a homemade smoothie and a handful of lightly salted peanuts (my snack of choice).

I often travel with snacks – gum, nuts, fruit snacks, but that day I was running late for church service. After arriving at church, I hydrated with a cup of juice from the snack table in our fellowship hall. I didn’t want to drink too much for fear of having to create my own intermission during service and dip out to the restroom.

The juice soothed my tonsils and other parts of my throat’s anatomy…until mid-way through service. The dryness found its way home; my throat felt like it had been lined with dryer sheets. Now we’re at the heart of this story…

My friend who is also a snack carrier was wearing a large brimmed fancy hat.  I had to tilt my head and duck under her hat to whisper my request for a piece of candy. She rummaged through her purse and handed me a small nylon bag with a drawstring. Inside was an assortment of hard peppermint candy, soft peppermints and cough drops.

I opted for the cough drop…and thus began the topsy-turvy encounter with my taste buds. I expected a menthol taste that would open my nasal passages. What I received was something closer to an encounter with the laundry aisle at Walmart. That little piece of Fellowship tasted like Febreze, original scent.

Yes, I’ve tasted Febreze. It was after I sprayed one squirt too much into the air. The mist landed on my lips. The original scent is my favorite…to smell, not to taste. I ate the cough drop I had chosen as though it was my last meal. Who was I to be picky? I selected my tastebud fate.

Blessed are the candy givers, for they shall inherit… my immediate suspicion about what exactly I just put in my mouth.

The moral of the story – we always have choices. Sometimes we make the right choice, but when we don’t, we can find humor in the situation.

What is one situation you found humorous this week?