If you have
ever seen the inside of a woman’s large purse, you know it contains everything
except the kitchen sink. That’s the way my grandmother would phrase it. Plainly
stated, I could win that baby shower game where you have to find the items on
the list, inside your purse.
An ink pen,
a bobby pin, a band-aid, and business cards, all reside with other items in the
deep dark jungle of my purse. I was glad I had those other items available on
that fretful day I ventured into a grocery store restroom. There were no warning
signs that told me to turn back, or ”pardon our dust.”
A scene from
the fairytale, Goldilocks, and the Three Bears, flashed before me. There
were three restroom stalls for me to choose from. I pushed open the first door
and there was toilet paper strategically lined on top of the toilet seat. I
contorted my face and moved on. Stall number two had long sections of toilet
paper on the floor. I backed away.
Finally at
stall three, afraid of what I might see, I pushed the door open with my foot. I
slithered into the stall trying not to touch anything. When I attempted to slide
the door lock, it wiggled and jiggled and barely closed. I looked up and was
greeted by a large gap in the door frame. If anyone were to walk in, we would
be locked in eye-to-eye combat.
There was a battle
going on between my conscious and subconscious. Do I hurry up and use the
restroom and flee or take a chance on trying to make it home? That grocery store
restroom was what I’d consider a disaster. The grocery store was only 10
minutes from my final destination, but I also wanted to stop to fill my gas
tank.
I was prepared
for my pseudo disaster. My purse had items I could use, and in my recent
workout the instructor had us do squats and hold them. My decision was made. I
hovered over the toilet, purse on my shoulder, and arms wrapped around my body,
so I touched nothing.
I got out of
that stall like the gingerbread man running from the fox. I looked to my right
at the sink and said out loud. “nope not touching that either.” I used items
from my purse to clean my hands – hand sanitizer, and hemorrhoid wipes (not
mine, but that’s a story for a different day).
Disaster
avoided.
What does a
public restroom and disaster preparedness have in common? Be prepared for
anything. Be anxious for nothing.
Follow me
for stories on finding humor in everyday life. Until next time…keep laughing.
