Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - When your son calls you old without saying you're old

 

Monday Musings – April is National Humor Month - What does a public restroom and disaster preparedness have in common?

If you have ever seen the inside of a woman’s large purse, you know it contains everything except the kitchen sink. That’s the way my grandmother would phrase it. Plainly stated, I could win that baby shower game where you have to find the items on the list, inside your purse.

An ink pen, a bobby pin, a band-aid, and business cards, all reside with other items in the deep dark jungle of my purse. I was glad I had those other items available on that fretful day I ventured into a grocery store restroom. There were no warning signs that told me to turn back, or ”pardon our dust.”

A scene from the fairytale, Goldilocks, and the Three Bears, flashed before me. There were three restroom stalls for me to choose from. I pushed open the first door and there was toilet paper strategically lined on top of the toilet seat. I contorted my face and moved on. Stall number two had long sections of toilet paper on the floor. I backed away.

Finally at stall three, afraid of what I might see, I pushed the door open with my foot. I slithered into the stall trying not to touch anything. When I attempted to slide the door lock, it wiggled and jiggled and barely closed. I looked up and was greeted by a large gap in the door frame. If anyone were to walk in, we would be locked in eye-to-eye combat.

That look when you're ready for battle

There was a battle going on between my conscious and subconscious. Do I hurry up and use the restroom and flee or take a chance on trying to make it home? That grocery store restroom was what I’d consider a disaster. The grocery store was only 10 minutes from my final destination, but I also wanted to stop to fill my gas tank.

I was prepared for my pseudo disaster. My purse had items I could use, and in my recent workout the instructor had us do squats and hold them. My decision was made. I hovered over the toilet, purse on my shoulder, and arms wrapped around my body, so I touched nothing.

I got out of that stall like the gingerbread man running from the fox. I looked to my right at the sink and said out loud. “nope not touching that either.” I used items from my purse to clean my hands – hand sanitizer, and hemorrhoid wipes (not mine, but that’s a story for a different day).

Disaster avoided.

What does a public restroom and disaster preparedness have in common? Be prepared for anything. Be anxious for nothing.

Follow me for stories on finding humor in everyday life. Until next time…keep laughing.