Monday Musings - When compliments Take a Sharp Left Turn

 

                                         The perfect companion to a comfortable stylish dress. 

I am a dress kind of girl. I like wearing dresses because they feel less restrictive than pants; especially when my weight is up. One Sunday morning I spent countless minutes trying on dresses for church, until I found one that made my bulges appear smaller. Success. I pulled  my a-lined knee length, cotton dress over my head, pulled on a pair of black tights with hues of gold sparkles, then completed the look with black patent leather 3-inch chunky heeled shoes.

I bundled up and rushed off to church. Once inside the church I shed my bulky coat, exchanged pleasantries with a few people in the room, then chatted with a friend nearby. I sauntered over to the coffee table and back. Another friend walked over, interrupted us, to pay me a compliment…I think.

You may be familiar with the moment. Someone opens their mouth, clearly aiming for a compliment, and somehow the words make a sharp left turn into Wait… what did you just say? territory. You smile.  You may even say “thank you,” while your brain quietly pulls the comment apart like a detective with too much caffeine. It wasn’t rude—on purpose. It wasn’t intentional—hopefully. But it definitely wasn’t what your self-esteem ordered, and now you’re stuck replaying it on a loop you never asked for.

My friend giving the compliment leaned in and said, “you look good. Most people who gain weight, it doesn’t look good on them. It looks good on you; you carry it well.”

I chuckled and said, “thanks,” with a quizzical look on my face. However, I did tell my friend, “You can have my extra pounds, I’d rather not have them.”

I don’t think my friend realized her comment could have come across as offensive. But because I know her personality, I knew she did not mean to offend. And because of who I am, I was not offended…and I will turn the situation into comedy.

Sometimes a comment can take a wrong turn. When this happens, you can get upset about it…or not. In this situation, I chose to uncover the humor.

Have you ever experienced a compliment gone wrong? Were you the giver or receiver of the compliment?