My brain left me in the waiting room. This wasn’t my first rodeo;
I’ve been through the mammogram process countless times. However, this time the
brain fog was thick. The receptionist walked me to changing room as she rattled
off instructions.
“Have you been here before?” she asked.
“Yes.”
The receptionist continued her script rapid fire as we
walked, “undress from the waist up, take a gown from the cabinet, leave it open
in the front, put your things in a locker…”
As soon as she walked away, I stood dumfounded – what had
she just said? Do I need to take off my socks and shoes?
Then I looked up and saw the note on the wall near the
cabinet that held the gowns – remove clothing from the waist up. Ah ha, the
brain fog was lifting; I remembered what I needed to do.
For customer convenience, there was a label on the inside of
the cabinet, indicating the sizes of the robes, there was Small/Medium and
Large/X-Large. I decided to try a Medium, knowing that I can’t fit anything in
medium unless is socks or gloves. I tried anyway.
I slid my arms into the wide openings for arms and thought I
was on my way. Nope. That robe fit like a crop top. The length hit right at my
belly button and the girth would not allow me to close the gown. It fit like a
vest I used to wear in the fifth grade with my Gaucho pants (remember those,
wide-legged cropped pants that hit at the knee).
Instead of busting out of the gown like the Incredible Hulk,
I removed it and tossed it into the bin for used gowns. My guess was that I’d
grabbed the small size by accident, so I reached for a gown from the next shelf.
Same result. I tossed that one in the used gown bin too.
For fear of being found out for creating so much dirty
laundry, I yanked the Large/X-Large gown from a shelf and put it on. This gown
had enough room for me and a small child. It was better than being too small.
There was only one thing left to do before I was ready for
the exam room…stuff all my belongings into the six-inch-wide locker. No, I didn’t
measure the locker, I eyeballed it. My lapse in memory did not remind me to take
a smaller purse to my appointment. It was enough to remember not to wear
deodorant, lotion, perfume, and arrive 15 minutes early.
I pulled hand lotion, a mini tissue pack, my wallet and a couple
of other items from my purse, then folded it over and crushed it into the
locker. Success. I slammed the locker shut and waited only a couple of minutes
before being called into the exam room.
After striking several contorted poses, my exam was done. My
brain was no longer feeling mentally sluggish. If you’ve ever experienced brain
fog, you know it can make even familiar tasks feel like you’re doing them for
the first time. Confession…you are not alone.
While navigating through the stages of life, add a dash of
humor to make the journey interesting.
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