An accidental hug - what not to do when initiating a hug

Kids are not afraid to hug.
Photo courtesy of activityvillage.co.uk/moon_cake.htm.

How can you accidentally hug someone? I managed to do it with ease. It happened on a sunny day on the sideline at my son’s football practice.

Practice had not stared yet, the coach was sitting with a few people. He leaned forward as he said, “Hi Mrs. Verges.”  It wasn’t a sexy deep voiced, “Hiii… Mrs. Verges.” Nor did it give the implication of “Hellooooo Mrs. Verges.”

It was the “lean in” that threw me off. It looked like the coach was preparing to stand to give a church hug. You know, the hug where you lean forward to embrace, but barely touch the person?

I leaned in, gave the hug then realized, he was not trying to give a hug. Can you say awkward? I walked away as fast as I could without stumbling over the unlevel pathway.

When I told my son about the incident he said, “Why did you hug him?” After he erupted with laughter he said, “Wow, really ma?”
What can I say? I had crossed the line of hugging etiquette.

I checked Google for articles about hugging just to see what was out there. I came across an article titled, How to hug. The information that caught my attention was the warning tips below:

• “Unless you’ve hugged the person before, don’t hug them without asking first. Use your best judgment in choosing when and where to hug someone.”
• “Hug only when the person you want to hug has their arms out. They may not want to be hugged if their arms aren’t out.” This is where you place the palm of you hand over your forehead and tap gently several times. The aah ha moment.
• “Avoid a hug with a running start unless the person being hugged is aware you are about to do so, if not this may result in both of you falling over.”

To read the entire article on how to hug tips visit www.wikihow.com/hug.

I felt a little better about hugging when a woman accidently hugged me. I smiled and greeted the woman as she entered the center where I work. She thought she knew me until she released the embrace. She said, "I’m sorry I thought we'd met before.”

I reassured her that it was ok. I said, “I’m a hugger too.”

What I’ve learned about hugging is that if  you’re unsure whether to do it or not, keep your hands to yourself. Stick to smiling and waiving, it’s the safe route.

Are you a hugger? What has been your experience with hugging?