What is your
parenting style? How do you get your message across in a manner that your child
will understand? As my children have grown into young adulthood, our methods of
getting our point across have changed. They tend to use sarcasm, and I give it
right back to them.
My sons have
learned many life skills; they cook, clean, and do laundry. However, I may need
to give them an aptitude test to determine whether they are beginners,
intermediate, or proficient. Let me show you what I mean.
Laundry
My son is
very capable of washing his own clothes. He sorts, selects the load size and
water temperature. It’s when he adds the laundry detergent that things go
haywire. I prepared to lift the heavy liquid detergent container to wash my
load of clothes. I almost snatched my arm off because the container was so
light.
My son yelled
from a different room, “Ma, can you put my clothes in the dryer?”
“Sure. Can
you use less than a gallon of laundry detergent n your next load?”
Cooking
My son loves
breakfast foods and has mastered pancakes with crispy edges, cooked on the
griddle, which is our family signature. Ask him to prepare a dinner and sighs
of exasperation flow from his mouth, “Oookay. Let’s make tacos, you cook the
meant and I’ll do the rest.”
Translation
– I cook most of the meal and he’s does the easy things, like taking the
shredded cheese from the fridge.
After three
years of college, countless roommates, and calls home asking, “how long do you
cook…(fill in the blank)?” My son found success. He snapped a picture of one of
his successful meals and texted it to me. The message read, “I bet you wish you
were here.”
I smiled at
his accomplishment, but texted, “No, I wish you were here, to cut the
grass for me.”
Once our
sarcasm was reigned in, I complimented my son on the presentation of his dish.
I’m no chef, and neither is he, but I like my food to look appetizing on the
plate.
Cleaning
When there
is cleaning to be done, my sons are never short on excuses. Some of the excuses
have included:
“I have to
run an errand; I’ll do it as soon as I get back.”
“Can I do it
after I finish my homework?” (What do you say to that one?).
My sons are
pretty clever when it comes to providing snappy responses. I wouldn’t want to
disappoint them so I have a few canned responses for questions they may ask me
like, “What’s for dinner?”
“I’m not
hungry, I ate yesterday, or “I’m fasting today.”
I’ve found three
things helpful when parenting young adults:
1. Allow them to express themselves –
you already know this, but our children have their own opinions.
2. Listen more than you talk – I have
learned to listen without forming an opinion. My sons are more willing to share
when I listen before giving my opinion. Realistically, they don’t tell me
everything, but they share a few things.
3. Schedule time to do fun things
together – this doesn’t have to be anything big but should be something that
your family finds fun. If you want a suggestion – it’s summertime, get outside,
go to a beach, a lake, play cornhole, or host a barbecue.
Although my
family playfully uses sarcasm, they know this is not meant to be offensive. As
you parent your young adult, do it with love, and create lasting memories. How
is your parenting style working?
