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Monday, November 16, 2020

Monday Musings – 3 Tips for Shopping with Skills of a Ninja


Photo Credit: WebStockReview

Shopping during this Coronavirus is different. You have to leave your house with a plan of action…think Ninja skills. You don’t need a covert operation, but you need to move fast and think quick on your feet.

I entered the store ready to grab the few items I set out to get. Before I could began shopping, nature  was calling. I had to make a pit stop at the restroom. Wanting to minimize all touch points, I pushed the door open with my shoulder, like a football player on defense.

Limber as a Ninja, I used my foot push the stall door open. There was wet toilet paper on the floor, I moved to the next stall; the floor was a little wet, perhaps it was just mopped. Not wanting to take a chance, I moved on to the only stall left – the handicapped stall. No one else needed it, so I dashed in, promising to make it quick, in case anyone was listening.

My Ninja senses kicked in again, my thoughts were swirling -  can I lock this stall door without touching it? I used my elbow to slide the lock over and secure it in place. Mission accomplished. I was in and out of the stall with the quickness of a Gazelle. Hand washing was the next obstacle.

I used my wrist to push the water faucet on, the soap was automatic. Singing two rounds of Stevie Wonder’s version of Happy Birthday, and my hand washing was complete. A swift nudge with my elbow and the water was turned off. A glance to the left told me that the paper towel  dispenser was automatic, whew. BUT…the exit door needed to be pulled open.

A wave of my hand in front of the paper towel dispenser rewarded me with a clean brown sheet that I used to pull the door open. I was almost made a lean exit, UNTIL…. I realized the trash can was not near the door. I used my foot as a doorstop, stretched my leg away from the door and leaned my body toward the trash can. I didn’t want to toss my used paper towel on the floor, nor did I want to take it with me.

I had one final Ninja move left in my arsenal – a jump shot. I crumpled the paper towel in a tight ball, leaned over one more inch, and swish, basket good. Once I was safely out of the restroom, I grabbed the few items from my list and headed to a checkout register.

Before you head out on your next shopping trip, have a plan in mind:

1.      Pack your patience.

2.      Don’t have two cups of coffee and a bottle of water before leaving the house.

3.      Take a long your sense of humor.

Be prepared to shop with the skills of a Ninja.

What have you found humorous during a shopping trip?

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