Do you have
family members who provide so much entertainment that all you have to do is sit
back and smile? That family member may even be you. Here’s how my story
unraveled.
Our first
port of call required us to take a tender (small boat) to the island. Unfamiliar
with traveling by tender, I said to my mom, “we won’t be in a canoe will we?
This brief mode of transportation won’t require use of an oar will it?” None of
the above was necessary.
We stepped
off the cruise ship and wobbled onto the tender, one rocky step at a time. The
waves bounced, the tender rocked. My body swayed, tilted, and leaned and I
hadn’t made it to my seat yet. The 15 passenger tender felt unsteady.
I grabbed
something for balance and finally sat down. The boat swayed again. I think I
converted from Baptist to Catholic in two minutes flat. I was reminded of the
Hail Mary prayer my mom learned in catholic school. “Hail Mary full of grace,
the Lord is with thee, blessed art though amongst women…”
Gripping my
necklace, you would have thought I was holding rosary beads. I cried out like
the rocks in the Bible saying, “My God, my God.” It was only a five minute ride
across the water, yet I felt like singing a gospel hymn. “There’s a storm out
over the ocean and it’s movin’ this way.”
I survived,
and on the ride back to the ship, the waters were smoother. And we were on a
larger watercraft.
Below are
tales involving different relatives…
Mama
During our
elegant dining on our cruise, we were offered a variety of desserts. When mom’s
dessert was placed in front of her, it look like two miniature scoops of ice
cream. I asked her, “Are you having anything with that?”
“Yes, a
spoon.”
That was not
quite the answer I anticipated.
My uncle is
68 years old and participates in competitive power lifting. He’s the Incredible
Hulk of our family. My uncle, brother and I were chatting over lunch. When my
brother asked my uncle, “What size shirt do you wear?”
“Medium,”
was the reply.
My brother
and I looked at each other and started laughing. I said, “If you can fit a
medium shirt, I must need to shop in the Juniors section of the store.” My
uncle’s shirt was clinging to him like a scuba diving suit. I guess that makes
his muscles pop more.
Brother
We all know
airport food can be a bit pricey. On our trip home we had a two hour wait before
boarding our flight. My mom wanted a bag of potato chips to snack on, so my
brother and I trudged off on a quest for chips.
It didn’t
take long to spot the chips. My brother studied the list of prices then turned
to me and said, “Do you want to give me half on this bag of chips? It’s a small
investment.”
What
entertaining things happened on your last family vacation?
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