Monday Musings – Lost in Space

 

There was a popular TV show in the 1960’s called Lost in Space. After an expedition had gone wrong, the characters were always trying to find their way home, amidst challenges thrown in their path.

I was lost in space the morning I took my glasses off…and couldn’t find them. Lucky for me I knew the blueprint of my bedroom in the dark. As far as I had gotten was from the bed to the bathroom, which is comparable to…

I pulled my glasses off to look at my phone up close and got caught in the vortex of scrolling through social media, then poof. I realized I didn’t have my glasses on, but they were nowhere to be found. My recourse was to wander through the jungle of my bedroom. It felt like Jurassic Park opened. The army of stuffed animals on my dresser looked like enemies preparing to attack.

Moving around the room like Velma from Scooby Doo (without her glasses), I extended my arms in front of me, feeling around the dresser and other spaces for the glasses. My biggest fear was that I had set them on a pillow where I might accidentally crush them. Then the light bulb came on literally and figuratively speaking.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

I remembered my second pair of glasses were in my purse. I had put them there the day before because I wanted to change my look. I put on my spare glasses and continued my search…without success. I sat down to draft this story, and thirty minutes later, I remembered another place I hadn’t checked, and that’s where I found them…in the linen closet.

My spectacles were sitting on top of a stack of folded towels, awaiting my return. I had taken them off to read the small print on a medicine bottle.

It’s so easy to become preoccupied with something that we are oblivious to things happening around us. After finding my glasses I put both pairs in their cases, put them on the dresser, and took ten minutes to meditate. I needed a reset for my morning.

After my meditation, I was no longer lost in space, I was ready for the day.

Have you ever become so consumed with something you’re doing that you are not present with what is happening around you? Don’t become lost in space. It’s okay to be focused but also be alert, be aware.

Share a funny episode that has happened to you.

Monday Musings – When Laughter is Your Go To Self-Care

 

Have you ever heard the statement, “You can’t pour from an empty cup?” What is your understanding of that statement? For me it means that you take care of yourself before you can help others (I read that somewhere). After you read this post, I want you to leap into action and do something for yourself, and don’t talk yourself out of it.

This week I’m pouring back into my cup through comedy. The root of my passion for comedy is three-fold:

1.      I like to write, and I like humor.

2.      Hearing laughter during a comedy performance is exhilarating.

3.     There is joy in knowing others are having a good time engaging in laughter and taking a break from life’s daily stressors.

As I write this blog post, I am preparing for upcoming shows this week. Every comedian prepares their set differently. My process begins with collecting ideas. When I observe something that I find funny, I write it down or snap a picture. It could be a phrase I overhear, or a sign posted somewhere that makes no sense.

One day my son and I were in different areas of the house, I yelled for him to do something for me. The thing is I called him by his brother’s name instead of his name. He then says, “Do I need to wear a name tag?”

I rolled my eyes and said, “that’s why you end up in my comedy sets.”

I mentioned in a previous post that my son and I were taking a comedy class together. Well, that class has ended and it’s time for our class showcase. If you’re in the area, stop by and catch a few laughs. I’ll share a snippet of what I plan to talk about.

The premise (main topic) of my set is homeownership, more specifically, the frustrating things that happen related to a homeowner’s association. This is new material, so I’ll test it out at an open mic tonight before I perform at the class showcase.

This is the first set in a while that I haven’t included some antic about my son. I can’t say the same about him. He talks a little about homeownership too, but I’m the punchline to his joke.

My son hasn’t said that he plans to become a comedian, but he’s had fun testing out his comedic side on stage. I, on the other hand, plan to continue to spread the joy of laughter and uncover humor in everyday situations.

Laughter is at the top of my list for things to include in my self-care. Refuel, reenergize and refill your cup. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of you.

Laugh long, laugh hard, and laugh often.

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday - Funny Church Jokes

 

YouTube Video Credit: The Funniest Church Jokes - Dry Bar Comedy

Monday Musings – Loads of Trouble: A Laundromat Adventure Gone Wrong

 

The best laid plans sometimes go awry…then you pivot. My peaceful Saturday was hijacked by a host of unplanned activities. My pre-planned agenda included hanging around the house – working on a writing project, decluttering an area I’ve been putting off, then leaving the house for outdoor adventures. 

At some point during the day, I knew I wanted to go to the laundromat to wash the blanket I keep across the foot of my bed. It’s one of those thick fleece blankets that keep you warm when your body settles into the coolness of fresh bed sheets.

I planned ahead and placed the blanket in the trunk the night before, so I wouldn’t forget it when I went out to run errands. Before the birds updated their morning playlist, I was up for my morning coffee and meditation. This was followed by my symphony of tasks that included – starting the dishwasher, a load of laundry, working on comedy. All by 8am on a Saturday.

I felt like a Superhero. I called a friend and said, “Hey, what time is that Walk for a Cure? I might be able to make it after all.”

“It’s at 9.”

“I’ll see you there.”

It would take less than 15 minutes to drive to the event location. A 9 am start time would give me time to participate in the walk then get to the bank before they closed at noon. I needed quarters for the laundromat.

As the best laid plans go, there was an interruption; the 5K walk didn’t start until 10am. It was all the pre activities that began at 9. All was not lost, I visited the vendors, got my face painted, got my body moving with the warmup stretches. However, I did have to leave before the walk ended, in order to make it to the bank on time.

My plotted-out plan was redirected because I remembered that I wanted to go by Sam’ Club for a couple cases of water and Skinny Pop popcorn. Sam’s Club was ten minutes from the event location, so I stopped by there before dashing across town to the bank.

Since I had time to spare, I stopped by the laundromat on the way to the bank, to see how much it would cost to wash the comforter. The laundromat was only a couple of miles from the bank.

Proud that I had accomplished this just before noon, I returned to the laundromat ready to wash. I carried the oversized bundle in my arms and stuffed it into one of the front load washers. It’s been a while since I visited the laundromat, so I read the directions.

Insert clothes.

Twist handle.

Add detergent…

I stood like a deer in headlights…I had no detergent.

Although it would have only taken me 10 minutes to go home and retrieve my detergent, I didn’t want to. I had been home once to drop off the cases of water and a couple of unplanned refrigerated items I’d purchased.

I left the comforter in the washer, got back in my car and drove up the street to Kroger (across from the bank). I purchased the smallest container of laundry detergent that I could find. In less than fifteen minutes, I was back at the laundromat, adding detergent, and feeding quarters to the washer like a slot machine.

My advice (although you didn’t ask), don’t overload your schedule. However, if your best laid plans go awry…go with the flow.

 

Wordless Wednesday - Hump Day Humor - Having Kids After 50

 

YouTube Video Credit: Dry Bar Comedy

My Daughter Protects Me From The Internet - Jamie Kaler Stand Up Comedy

Monday Musings – The Joke Thief – A Comedic Lesson

 

Comedy 101 Class - Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle

As an active child playing freeze tag on the school playground, I heard my fair share of name calling. If someone was accused of cheating, the other child let the insults fly, but they didn’t fight (on most occasions).

I remember on child chanting, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I was that child; I didn’t like to fight. My grandmother taught me that chant. It was corny but clever.

Fast forward to modern day me. I’ve been called many names, some good, bad, funny. Well, I can now add joke thief to arsenal of glossy language. Can you guess who called me that? It was my son, the one who is taking a comedy class with me.

The joke he claimed I stole was related to a statement he said to me in a random conversation at home. It was about the comforts of his house versus my house. We both laughed and I said, “I gotta use that for my Humor Happy hour video.” My guess is that he didn’t hear that part of the statement.

My son told me he was telling a friend one of the jokes he was developing for our comedy class. The friend said, “I think I heard that before.”

He said, “How could you have heard it, I haven’t said it in public yet.” 

“On your mom’s TikTok.” The friend pulled out their phone and clicked on TikTok; And there it was. 

My response to the joke thief accusation was, “you did not say you were going to use that as a joke. It was a random funny observation.”

Like kids on a playground, we had a (friendly) banter going back and forth.

“Ma, can you please wait until I at least say my jokes on stage before you repeat them?”

I made an agreement with my son that I wouldn’t share any of his jokes…in public. I might tell my mom…or my brother, but not the “public.”

I reminded my son that many of my jokes come from observational humor; things that I see happen around me and to me. As he now knows well, things he and his brother say aloud, become fodder for comedy.

I read my son my Miranda rights of comedy:

“You have the right to remain silent in my presence; anything you say, can and will appear in my comedy.”

What situation has brought a little humor to your life recently?

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday - Comedy - You Know Your're Old If...

Take a laughter break and watch a little comedy. 

YouTube Video Credit: Dry Bar Comedy

You're Old if You Sound Like This - Ross Bennet

Words of Wisdom - 12 Powerful Things to Tell Yourself Every Morning

 I found this video very insightful. Check it our for yourself. It's about 20 minutes long, watch it when you have the time to dedicate to listen and absorb the information.

YouTube Video Credit: Endless Inspiration

12 Powerful Things To Tell Yourself - Myles Monroe Motivational Speech

Mindful Monday – Prayers with a Twist – Learning Faith From A to Z

 

Are you doing the things that bring you joy? There’s no time like the present to get started.

If you have been following my blog, you know my passions are writing and performing comedy. Quite often the two intersect. When I’m not writing comedy sets, I’m working on essay writing or drafting a children’s book.

I posted over the weekend that I would reveal my latest project. Here it is, drumroll please…

Coming soon, my debut picture book – Abby and Zach Pray through The Alphabet will be published in time for Christmas. Pictured above is the book cover.

Abby and Zach are twin siblings who learn to pray in a fun way. Each letter of the alphabet is an opportunity to help children grow in faith and prayer. I once taught Sunday School for six- to eight-year-olds.

Like Abby and Zach, some of my Sunday School students asked simple questions about praying and were sometimes shy about leading a prayer. I wrote Abby and Zach to show children that learning to pray can be as easy as learning you’re a A-B-C’s.

I want children to feel comfortable with asking questions as they learn about faith and prayer. They will relate to things that Abby and Zach discover.

Do you know of a young child who would like to follow Abby and Zach on their journey of praying through the alphabet? I’ll keep you posted on pre-sale dates.

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - Grown & Flown

 

When your adult child has an epiphany...

YouTube Video

Monday Musings – Epiphanies of a Young Adult

 

Parenting doesn’t end - it evolves. I used to carry my son, now he carries himself. My son found out that having his own place comes with, um…responsibilities.

My son called me the other day and said, “Ma, something is wrong with my house; I left a pizza box and a glass on the table when I went to bed. When I woke up the next morning they were still there. There was no magic fairly like at your house?”

There was a giggle in my voice when I said, “thank you for finally understanding. I was growing weary, cleaning and straightening things behind you.”

I let my son in on a few secrets about having his own place, here they are:

1.      The dishwasher is still not self-loading.

2.      Toilet paper doesn’t magically appear – someone has to buy it, that is ow you.

3.      Groceries vanish quickly – you don’t have to eat everything in one day.

4.      The trash doesn’t take itself out – it just sits there… judging you.

5.      Cooking for one – somehow creates enough dirty dishes for a family of six.

After chatting with my son, I came up with a list of epiphanies young adults stumble upon as they’re figuring out life. Here’s the list:

1.      Adulthood doesn’t come with a manual – you just improvise and Google a lot.

2.     Time is more valuable than money – my son was reminded of this on an occasion where he went in person to apply for a job. He showed up to the location as instructed, the parking lot was empty except for a couple of cars. As he entered the industrial type building, he was met with empty hallways and had to determine which door to approach.

He selected a door, pressed a buzzer, and someone appeared with a clipboard and a form for him to complete. The staff person left, then returned after my son completed the form. She told my son, “Thank you, we’ll send you an email.”

My son left the office with unanswered questions – what are the hours, starting rate of pay?  Where is the work site location? He called me after his turn of events and said, “That was a dummy mission (a wild goose chase); I got nowhere.”

 

3.      Comparison steals your joy – your timeline doesn’t have to match anyone else’s.

4.      Debt is real – and it grows faster than you think.

5.      Saying “no” is powerful – and doesn’t require an explanation – you will have to say no to some things to accomplish what you want to get done.

6.      Success isn’t linear – detours are part of the journey.

7.      You are responsible for your own happiness – no partner, job, or paycheck can do that for you.

8.      Asking for help isn’t weakness – it’s strength.

9.      Joy can be found in small ordinary moments, not just the big milestones.

10. Your inner critic is often lying – you’re more capable than you think.

Parenting doesn’t end – it evolves. What parenting episodes have you experienced lately – with your child, or caring for your parent? Remember to seek to uncover humor in a difficult situation.

Wisdom Wednesday - Public Speaking Without Panic: Lessons from Toastmasters

Have you heard of Toastmaster's? It's a worldwide club for people who want to become better at public speaking and leadership. Members meet regularly in a supportive, friendly environment where everyone has a chance to practice giving speeches thinking on their feet, and leading meetings.

Below are some fun facts about Toastmasters gathered from the internet:

Almost 100 Years Young – Toastmasters started in 1924. That means it’s older than TV, sliced bread, and definitely older than your phone battery.

Not About Toast – Despite the name, there’s no champagne, no wedding toasts, and no buttered bread. Just people learning to speak without turning beet red.

Celebrity Toasties – Comedian Tim Allen is a Toastmaster. So technically, every time you laugh at Home Improvement reruns, you’re laughing with us.

Cheap but Chic – Membership costs less than a college textbook, and you’ll actually remember what you learned.

Zoom Boom – Now you can join meetings online. So yes, you can practice world-class public speaking while wearing pajama bottoms.

Visit a Toastmasters club near you and see what it's all about!

Monday Musings – What I have in common with Janet Jackson

 

It’s true, Janet Jackson and I have something in common – we’re both women, she’s a singer, I am too (not as well, actually I sound better when music drowns me out). Our closet connection is that we’ve both experienced a wardrobe malfunction…in public.

If you have ever had an embarrassing moment, you will be able to relate to my story. It happened early on a Sunday morning. I was on the devotion team at church, which meant I stood at the front of the church with a few other people at the beginning of service.

During devotion someone reads a scripture, another prays, and all of us lead the parishioners in a song. Singing. This was my opportunity to sing loudly, off key, and hope no one noticed. I sang my heart out. In my mind I had the moves of Janet Jackson, the soulful sound of Aretha Franklin, and the beard of Barry White.

As I was singing, the neckline of my dress felt like it was choking me. I tugged at the fabric, but the discomfort was still there. Once we finished singing, I returned to the pew and pulled at my neckline again. I looked at the inside of the dress and saw writing, it was the tag. My dress was on backwards!

You may be asking, how did she manage to wear her dress backwards? Well, my dress has the same pattern on the front and back. The tag that identifies the size was not an actual label; there was only writing. So, I wore my dress proudly, backwards for the next two hours, until I could get home and pull it off.

Once I got home, I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. These were the clothes of comfort that I knew would not betray. Just for fun I grabbed my karaoke microphone and began singing one of Janet Jackson’s songs - Funny How time Flies When You’re Having Fun. Did you just start singing that tune in your head?

The only thing I really have in common with Janet Jackson is that we’re that same age, and that little malfunction with our clothing.

What is something weird, funny or crazy that has happened to you lately?

Wordless Wednesday - What's funny about running late?

 

YouTube Video Credit - Women Make You Late - Andy Woodhull - Dry Bar Comedy

Monday Musings - From Diapers to Departures - The Journey to an Empty Nest

One day you're changing diapers ad you wonder when your child will transition of of this stages. Then come the days of after school practices, rehearsals, and travel sports. Then one day it happens...your little birdie flies the coop.

Check out my story (page 22) in the Crazy Wisdom Monthly Journal.

Have you experienced being an empty nester? What was your experience?

Monday Musings – The strawberry farmer with the brown thumb

 

Happy Labor Day

Strawberries?

Aah, Labor Day, a day of rest – not for the strawberry farmer; that’s what I call my son. The role of a strawberry farmer requires year-round work, patience, and resilience to overcome challenges like weather and pests. My son’s end goal was to eat from the fruits of his labor, literally. There was only one thing standing in his way…his brown thumb.

Last year was the first time my son tried gardening, he planted watermelon and strawberry seeds (separately). The watermelon didn’t do so well, but the strawberries that sprouted gave him hope to try again this year. And that’s what he did, plant strawberries. The green thumb that my son thought he had turned out to be a brown thumb.

During the spring season, the strawberry seeds were planted in a container, provided with water, sunlight, and given tender loving care…according to my son. The other day we stood outside looking at his plants, and my son said, “I still don’t see any strawberries yet.” He pulled out his phone and talked to AI (artificial intelligence), Gemini.

“Gemini, how long should it take for strawberries to grow?”

“It should take five to six weeks after flowering,” Gemini said.

Looking at me wide-eyed and with a smirk on his face, my son said, “I don’t have flowers or anything.”

My son has an app that can identify problems with plants. He opened the app on his phone and asked, “How much longer do my strawberries need to grow?

Gemini responded, “Those aren’t strawberry plants.”

 My son says in a dejected voice, “I’ve been nurturing weeds since spring and replanting them with care.”

I told my son he had strawberries that refused to grow. After consulting Gemini once more, my son learned that he could turn his brown thumb into a green thumb. His first step was to learn more about his plants’ needs, proper soil condition, and the local environment.

My suggestion was that he also consult his dad, who had vegetables sprouting nicely (see photo below).

From the garden

Do you think you want to start a garden? Try it, just don’t ask my son or me for advice. We can tell you what NOT to do.

 

 

Monday Musings – Gratitude & Giggles: 10 Things to Be Thankful For

  

Wellness doesn’t always come in the form of Kale smoothies, downward dog poses (yoga), or meditation apps – it can come from a good laugh and a little gratitude too. Sometimes we need to pause, clear our minds, and notice the little silly joys in life.

Laughter can boost your mood, reduce stress, and remind you not to take life too seriously. Here are ten fun things to be thankful for that spark wellness and giggles.

1.      Stretchy Pants – these are the unsung heroes of comfort and holiday dinners. Grab your favorite pair just in time for a Labor Day cook-out.

2.      WiFi That Actually Works – it’s modern miracle worth a standing ovation.

3.      The Smell of Freshly Popped Popcorn – instant happiness in a cloud of butter. Sit down with a large bowl of buttery popcorn on your lap and watch a funny show.

4.      When Your Cell Phone Falls But Doesn’t Crack – heart attack averted.

5.      Karaoke Nights Gone Wrong (or Right?) – laughter therapy disguised as singing.

6.      Drive-Thru Employees Who Give Extra Napkins – because they know you’re about to make a mess.

7.      The One Song You Can’t Help But Dance To – a free workout wrapped in joy. What is one song that when you hear it, you launch into a full blown concert?

8.      Unexpected Belly Laughs – the kind that sneak up on you…and cause you to snort.

9.      Finding Money in Old Coat Pockets – it’s like winning the lottery without even playing.

10. Laughing at Yourself – this is a healthy reminder that perfection is overrated. Don’t be hard on yourself, find the humor in whatever is happening.

 What would you add to the list of gratitude and giggles?

Wordless Wednesday - World Photography Week - A Community in Action

 Habitat for Humanity

It's World Photography Week, scroll through the gallery on your phone; What do your favorite photos reflect?

Monday Musings – National Wellness Month

 

Here we are halfway through the month of August, and I just discovered that this is National Wellness Month. Everything is becoming clear to me now, this must be why Weight Watchers keeps sending me emails inviting me to join.

Once upon a time and two kids ago, I was a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. The program worked for me, but life changed and so did my body. If no one has told you, let me tell you, your body will change. Ladies, your metabolism may turn on you, foods that you used to eat may affect your body differently.

Aging is not all doom and gloom, just know that you may need to shift some things. The things you did for health and wellness five years ago may need to look different. Remember nutrition, fitness, and sleep all affect your health and wellness. What do you do to be sure you have a balance of all these things? Do more of the things that bring you joy.

As you focus on a healthy lifestyle be sure to include activities that stimulate laughter. There are studies that say laughter can help lessen stress, anxiety, depression, and make you feel happier.

Did you know that happiness “lowers your risk for cardiovascular disease, lowers your blood pressure, enables better sleep, and improves your diet.” At least that’s what Google told me. These are enough reasons for me to use laughter as part of my self-care. I’ve found that laughing at some of my struggles (and turning them into comedy) makes them a little more bearable.

From weight gain to wild chin hairs, and wacky kids, humor is always lurking in everyday life situations. My weight gain/weight loss efforts consistently provide material for jokes. In the last couple of years, I’ve worked with a nutritionist and a fitness trainer (at different times), yet my body refuses to cooperate.

And my chin hairs, I get rid of them, and they find their way back, longer, stronger…and grey.

Use this month to jump start or continue focusing on your health and wellness and make it fun rather than a chore. I challenge you to find something funny every day for the rest of this month.

 

Fun Friday – Visibly Clean

 

I’ve often heard the phrase, “cleanliness is next to godliness.” Here’s a thought to ponder, does that phrase apply to the vehicle you drive? I’m asking for a friend…maybe. I keep my gas tank filled, have my oil changed regularly, but washing my car…yikes. This is where my story begins.

Once upon a time in an inner-city parking lot, I met him, the owner of a car detailing shop. He wasn’t there for me, but to take care of a fleet of city owned vehicles. There was an instant connection, he had a detailing shop…I owned a car. After seeing his work on a fleet of eight vehicles, I knew he was the one…for my car.

When I told my colleagues I was having my car detailed, they jumped on the bandwagon and scheduled an appointment too. The owner “Jake” brought his equipment to us and began the detailing job with my car. I warned him that my fabric seats needed extra love and attention. In other words, they were past dirty…and my seats are a light color.

I checked on Jake’s progress, he was on his hands and knees, scrubbing, grunting; I saw patches of sweat on the back of his white T-shirt. When he stood to talk to me, I saw that his face matched his shirt, drenched with tracks of sweat. He used the back of his hand to wipe seat from his brows.

“Hi Jake, it’s looking good, were the seats bad?” I asked.

“Yes, but the carpet was worse, I had to dig into the fibers.”

“Oh.”

I went back inside and got out of Jakes way.

This company cleaned eight buses in the time it took to clean my 4-door sedan.

After he finished, Jake brought my keys back to me; sweat still covering his face like makeup, and his t-shirt clinging to him like a wet T-shirt contest.

I said, “I guess I shouldn’t ask for a discount.”

He didn’t even want to tell me the final cost; he wrote it on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

After my car, he cancelled the rest of his appointments…went out of business! Not really, but it was a funny thought. He did have to postpone my colleagues’ detailing until the next day, due to time constraints (time invested on my car).

Jake told me, “If you’re not going to clean your car often, you might want to invest in seat covers. And your tires, I got the rust off the rims best I could.”

When I walked outside to my car at the end of that day, it was visibly clean. Sitting in the driver’s seat, looking through the windshield, I could see up to Heaven. My car had been transformed. It was clean.

The end.

The moral of the story…take care of your vehicle, treat it to a deep cleaning every now and then. How often do you deep clean your vehicle?

Fun Friday - Fall into Fun

 

The red rubber ball bounced across the gritty playground and slid over home plate. It was game on in a kickball battle of talent and teamwork. As my son kicked the ball it sailed between first and second base and landed in the outfield. He sprinted past first, second, then third base. Home run!

Aaah, the joys of summer…outdoor games, dipping your feet in a swimming pool, and licking an ice cream cone as it melts down your knuckles. Just because summer is drifting to an end does not mean fun has to cease. No need to fret, pout, or stump your feet, joy in on the way in the next season.

I got a little anxious at the beginning of July when I walked in a store and saw shelves filled with notebooks, backpacks, highlighters and ink pens. My eyes screamed, “nooo, not yet. Where has summer gone?” After the initial shock, I came to grips with the changing of seasons.

Since it is back to school time, I decided to go back to school too, and I convinced my son to take this adventure with me. We have signed up for a class…a comedy class. He has said to me on multiple occasions, ”Ma you get all your material from us.” Now that he can mimic all my jokes, he’ll have a chance to create his own.

I plan to “fall into fun” by letting my sense of humor guide me. As a comedian, ideas can come from anywhere. The majority of my jokes or stories come from everyday life, and it’s usually from something crazy, weird or outlandish that happens.

I keep a humor journal or notebook to jot down ideas that I may want to later develop into jokes. The first time I write a joke, it is never considered finished. The joke may need to be shortened, words switched around and practiced out loud at an open mic.

Here’s an excerpt from one of my humor notebooks from a few years ago:

Move Out Day

Talking on the phone with my youngest son, he’s  21, almost done with college. We set his move out date. The day he’ll move out of my house. He told me in his man voice, “when I move out, I’m NEVER coming back.”

 “Okay, that’s called growing up.”

I asked him, “Why are you in such a hurry to be an adult? Let’s practice first. I’ll put your name on the water bill, the electric bill and let you pay one month on the mortgage. Oh yeah and don’t buy a house that has grass. Lord knows you don’t like to cut the grass.”

“Remember that time you cut the front yard and told me you didn’t cut the back because no one would see it.”

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

When I reminded my son about the story above, all he could do was chuckle.

What’s new for you on the horizon for this fall? Make it something fun.

Wordless Wednesday - Hump Day Humor

YouTube Video Credit: Dry Bar Comedy - Nikki Carr

 

Humor Happy Hour - Relaxation Interrupted

 

YouTube: Humor Happy Hour - Relaxation Interrupted

What do you do to relax?

Wordless Wednesday - The Funniest Quotes in Everyday Life

 

YouTube Credit: Fabulous Quotes

Monday Musings – The Grocery Store Gauntlet

 

A selection of blueberries

A few months ago, I participated in a Comedy Gauntlet. There were sixteen comedians, we each had 90 seconds to sling our jokes, make folks laugh, and hope our efforts would reward us with the title of Champion. The competition was lighthearted, and fun. This was not the same experience with my grocery store gauntlet.

A gave my grocery store visit the name “gauntlet” because it fit the definition that I came across. Gauntlet can be defined as “a series of challenging, dangerous, or unpleasant experiences – often with obstacles…giving you a hard time.” Yep, that fits my grocery store excursion.

As I entered the store and tried to grab a cart, I discovered a great deal of strength was needed to pull the carts apart. I don’t know who my grocery store has retrieving carts from the parking lot. I imagine the person to have the physique of the Incredible Hulk, and his temperament when jamming the carts together.

My attempt to pull the carts apart reminded me of playing tug of war as a child. I planted my feet in a firm stance, placed one hand on each cart. I began pulling one cart toward me, while pushing the other in the opposite direction. I’m pretty sure I was grunting loudly. After a few tries, I gave up on that row of carts and moved to the next one.

My first stop was at the produce section where I immediately became immersed in a math problem, fractions. For the love fruit smoothies in the summer, I was trying to determine the best deal on blueberries, the one pint for $6.99 or the 9.8 ounces that were two for $8.99.

You may look at that scenario and say, “that’s easy math” or “it depends on how many blueberries you want”. The bottom line was that I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to grab enough blueberries to get me through a week of smoothies. Now, if you love math, here’s a story problem for you.

If little Angie wants to make three smoothies in a week and she uses a ¼ cup of blue berries in each smoothie, how many 9-ounce containers of blueberries would she need?

When you have the answer to the story problem, post it for me and I’ll take the info along on my next shopping trip.

The next ingredient for my famous smoothie was strawberries. They looked fresh, then again, it could have been the overhead lights that made them look appealing. The price was right, they usually cost $5.99 per container, but were on sale, two for $6.99.

I grabbed the strawberry deal, but knew it meant I would need to make more than smoothies in the coming week. Experience has taught me that when strawberries are on sale, they are near the end of their shelf life and will need to be eaten within a few days.

I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed in the fruit section, but I wasn’t giving up yet. I was in the midst of my grocery store gauntlet; faced with one challenge after another. I still needed to select my melons, not for the smoothie, but just because I want other fruits for my meals.

Ah, the melons – watermelon and cantaloupe were what I wanted. Off I went to inspect the melons – sniff, thump and listen.  I thumped the watermelon, listened for a hollow sound, and hoped I had selected a sweet, ready to eat melon.

My grocery store gauntlet was NOT fun like the Comedy Gauntlet. I made it through because I knew I would transform the situation into humor at some point.

What exciting, wacky, or odd things have you encountered at the grocery store? Don’t stress about it, laugh at it.

Monday Musings - Gratitude served with a side of humor

 

A week without a razor, can you imagine what that looks like…if you have a menopausal mustache? I nearly experienced such a travesty on a recent vacation.  I am grateful that I had my pink Gillette double blade razor.

I won’t get into the debate over the use of razors versus tweezing or waxing. I will say that when it comes to hair in unwanted places, my motto is “hair today, gone tomorrow.”

On a trip with friends, I had many opportunities to express gratitude. One morning as I was washing my face with the white hotel washcloth, I noticed something white left behind under my chin. It looked like a small piece of cotton. I attempted to wipe it away, but my effort was futile.

Upon close scrutiny, with my head tilted back, chin in the air, and leaning toward the bathroom mirror, I came to a conclusion. What I thought was cotton, was really one, lone grey hair, fighting for survival. Well, not on my watch. I grabbed my Gillette double blade razor and swiped it away.

Satisfied with my temporarily smooth chin, I put the razor away. Those annoying hairs would return before the end of the week, but I would be ready.

It seems as I age, my hair grows where I don’t want it and disappears where I do want it. If you stand too closely in my personal space, you may notice that hairs have shifted from my eyebrows down to my chin. I am grateful to my chin for being so accommodating and welcoming. However, I’d rather the hairs disappear…like my waistline.

I’m not complaining, just navigating the maze of life through steamed eyeglasses due to hot flashes.

If I could choose a superpower, I would want it to be laughter. My cape would have the letters ‘LL’ branded on it for Lady Laughter. I would go around brightening people’s day by making them laugh. Wait. I do that now, with comedy.

I am grateful for humor, laughter and the opportunities that arise for me to share a giggle.

My challenge to you is to flip the script on any challenging situation this week. Instead of being frustrated, take a deep breath, and find the funny,

 

Fun Friday – From Buffet to Barbell: A Cautionary Tale

 

Are you old enough to remember the old TV show, Gilligan’s Island? The lyrics of the song went like this, “just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a faithful trip…”

This is a story about the moments when vacation ambition meets reality. My faithful trip started with good intentions. I preplanned in my head, that I would workout and make healthy eating choices.

The first day of my trip was a travel day, a twelve-hour ride in a van, with stops for gas, food, and the occasional restroom break. I packed healthy snacks to sustain me throughout the weeklong trip. I had done so much sitting that I was happy to spend time in the hotel fitness center the next morning.

I stepped onto the elliptical for a ten-minute warmup.  Panting and puffing I made it through the warmup, then walked around the room to steady my breathing. My eyes locked on the sign on the wall that read, Fitness Center Rules. Let me break down some of those rules.

Rule #1              This facility is not supervised. Use of the equipment is the responsibility of the guest.                               

The first mistake the hotel made was to assume I am responsible and to trust me to be unsupervised.

Rule #2              Guest is responsible for knowing his/her own physical limitations.

Hmm. My physical limitation is that I need to learn how to put my fork down and push away from the dinner table.

Rule #3              Please, no wet bathing suits or bare feet.

First of all, I’m not about to put on a dry bathing suit (let alone a wet one), until I can transform some of my flab to fit. And bare feet? I know better than walking around a fitness center with bare feet. I hesitate to walk bare foot around my house. I’ve stubbed my toes enough to know how to walk cautiously.

Rule #7              Use at your own risk.

This rule should have been listed first. I had already broken several rules before reading number seven. The moment I waved my room key and entered the fitness center; I was on my own.

During my weeklong vacation, I was in many buffet lines. I enjoyed sampling the flavors of the area I was visiting. I ate meals without regret because I also walked a lot while visiting museums and other attractions.

From the buffet line to use of the barbells in the fitness center, finding balance is key. I caution you…don’t stress over being perfect. Laugh a little, have fun, and keep showing up for yourself.

Share a humorous tale you have experienced.

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - The Church Meeting

 

YouTube Video: The Church Meeting - When your face looks different

Wordless Wednesday - Humor Happy Hour - The Drive-thru

 

YouTube Video: Humor Happy Hour - The Drive-thru

Monday Musings – From Grumpy to Grateful: Flipping the Switch on a Bad Day

 

Grateful for an abundance of shoes; frustrated that they all remain at the front door.

Grumpy is easy to achieve, but so is being grateful…well, it should be easy. Now that I think about it, expressing gratitude can require practice, especially when frustrating circumstances pop up. I like to flip the switch on a grumpy day by using humor and expressing gratitude that the situation was not worse.

My son once told me, “Ma, you’re the most positive person I know. If I tell you, I broke my toe, you’ll say, ‘at least you have nine other healthy ones.’”

That is not a totally true statement. I strive to practice positivity, but there are glitches in my system. Sometimes complaints flow from that hole in my face, called a mouth, like a waterfall.

I’ve come home from work to dirty dishes in the sink, mail scattered on a table, and so many shoes at my front door that it looks like we’re part owner of a Footlocker shoe store. Before I even make it to my bedroom, I stop to straighten couch pillows, straighten shoes, and move random dishes to the kitchen. I do all of this mumbling and grumbling.

Instead of stressing myself over the little things I decided to flip the script. I set my mind to resolve this situation with humor tactics. The President of the United States has the State of the Union address, I created the State of the House address, and it’s not the House of Representative.

My State of the House address would include the following (directed to my offspring)…

Fourscore and 20 years ago we moved into this house. A declaration was created, giving you unalienable rights. However, those rights were under the discretion of “The People” hereafter known as “The Parents.” Article 7 Clause 2 says Honor thy mother and father…oh wait, that statement is from a different book. But follow it anyway.

If you look at the photo attached to this article, how many people would you think reside there? If you guessed any more than three, you’d be wrong. The reason they are so neatly arranged is because I organized them for the photo.

I no longer get frustrated when things are out of place. I enjoy the company of laughing with my son and turning his shenanigans into comedy. And I wish him well when he has kids. Just to prepare him for what is to come, I demonstrated when I visited his house.

My son had a few pair of shoes neatly lined up at his front door. I said, “Oh, your shoes re so neat.” I gave each pair a little kick, “Now that’s better.”

My son looked at me and rolled his eyes.

You may have heard it before; Laughter is good medicine; it can turn your day around. The next time you’re having a grumpy day, stop, take a deep breath, then engage in something that will make you laugh.

 

Wordless Wednesday - Are you single and feeling old?

If you're feeling old, you are not alone. Check out Mike Paramore's Dry Bar comedy special for his humorous perspective on feeling old.

YouTube Video Credit: Dry Bar Comedy - I'm Just Single and Old - Mike Paramore

Wordless Wednesday - Grandmama Said...

 

YouTube Video: Grandmama said

Grandmothers are wise, funny, and have their own special style

Fun Friday - – How to get your body summer ready – 3 Easy steps (maybe)

Welcome to the weekend! With summer knocking at our door, I thought this would be a good blog post to share again. I first posted this one over a year ago...

Have you ever heard advertisers make the statement, “get your body summer ready?” If you are beyond a certain age of maturity, this is not as easy as some people make it sound.

Let me paint a picture for you using the canvas of my experience. Some women say, “Oh, I don’t tell my age.” Not me. I will tell you my age, my credit score, my social security number, but I will NOT tell you, my weight.

Due to my menopausal midsection, my jeans have betrayed me. Trying to tuck in my tummy rolls is like working with a clump of clay. Trying to put a popped can of biscuits back into the container would be less taxing.

Before you begin working to get your body summer ready, answer this question: What does summer ready mean if you’re in your Golden Years? Here are three ideas of what a summer ready body means for the over 50 ladies.

1.      A body free of aches and pains.

2.  Being able to rise from a chair without grunting.

3.  You have bathing suit confidence. In my mind this is the moment you realize that the perfect beach body means having a body and going to the beach.

4.  Sweat acceptance - this means you made peace with the fact that you’ll be perpetually glistening (due to hot flashes).

5.  Being a Yoga Yardie – this involves stretching out with morning yoga in your backyard enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature.

Now that you have an idea of what it means to have a summer body, what are the steps to get there? Well, I’ve worked with a fitness coach, a nutritionist, practiced yoga, and meditation. Yet I feel like I’m in a fight of my lifetime…against my metabolism. Why can’t this journey be a little easier? Well, it can.

Three steps to get your body summer ready:

1.  Change your mindset – accept your body the way it is, bumps, lumps, and imperfections. Make small changes for steps toward the body you want. Give yourself time.

2.  Pamper yourself – when you feel good, you look good. A foot massage, full body massage, a facial, all good methods for pampering and taking care of your body.

3.  Laugh regularly – just because it’s fun and it can relieve the stress of worrying about whether your body will be summer ready?

What are your tips for getting your body summer ready?