The Golden Globe of Parenting

Photo credit: neontommy.com

It’s that time of year where Hollywood recognizes excellence in film and television. By the time this post publishes the awards will have just been televised. So let’s play pretend. What if there was a Golden Globe Award for Parenting? What would the categories look like?

Below are categories that I would suggest as part of the Golden Globes:

·         Best child actor in a drama

The guidelines for this category would be…a child who exhibits over dramatization when asked to do something. You many have never experienced this, but I’ve seen eyes bulge, shoulders slump, and mouths hanging open.

·         Best performance by a child actor with no prior acting experience

This nomination goes to the child who put on that puppy dog face and turns up the charm when he wants something.

·         Best performance by a supporting actor

A nominee in this category would be one who supports his sibling anytime it means teaming up against the parents (in the name of fun).

·         Best animated child performance

This is a catch all category, anything goes.

Here are a few awards that would actually go to parents:

·         Best facial expression when talking through your teeth

If you haven’t experienced this yet, it’s when you grit your teeth and talk in a firm voice. It usually occurs when disciplining a child in public.

·         Best performance in a drama.

The nominee in this category has remained calm while there is pandemonium all around him/her.

·         Best performance by a supporting actor.

This award goes to the supporting parent who backs up a directive you have just given your slow moving child –e.g. “Didn’t your mother just tell you no TV until you finish your homework?”

As for the Red Carpet, you would see smiling, poised parents, flanked by kids rolling their eyes and sighing or running in circles playing tag.

Are you ready for the Golden Globe of Parenting awards? You or your child has been nominated for an award what category would you fit under?