Monday Musings – Discovering Humor During a Mammogram Visit

 

There is a first time for everything. You have probably heard that expression before. We experience things such as – first day of school, first kiss, first time you realize your mustache is growing. That’s just my backstory.

I recently experienced my first mammogram…in a parking lot. I drove to the clinic, rushed inside, only to be directed back outside to the long truck branded with the words, Mobile Mammography. I’m not sure how I missed that on my way in, probably because I didn’t think it was for me.

Once on board the mammography mobile, I was asked to have a seat, “please give us a few minutes to get you checked in. Our computer is not connecting.”

Waiting for their internet to connect gave me way too much time with my inner thoughts. It was really only ten minutes, but that was all I needed for ideas to jump from my head and into my humor journal. Here are some thoughts I had:

A pre-check-in questionnaire is required before the mammogram visit. Suppose I had a set of questions for the receptionist? This is what it would look like:

Have you ever been car jacked? If you answered yes, please explain.

Is there a warranty on your imaging equipment?

Have you paid the internet bill?

The more I thought about it I wondered, why did I have to leave my home at pre daylight, and arrive at the clinic at 8am? This is a mobile unit can’t they drive to my house, or at least meet me halfway? We could both save on fuel.

I was swimming in the deep end with my thoughts when the x-ray technician, Rachel announced, “we’re ready for you.”

I slipped into the semi-stylish gown and met her at the back of the truck…I mean the imaging room. I followed directions as she said, “put your right hand up here and your left hand there.” Without warning, I was playing a game of Twister.

“Lean your cheek against the glass, breathe. Hold it there for 10 seconds.”

Breathe, hold still… too many conflicting commands for me. As I let out a sigh, from the corner of my eye, I could see that GE made the imaging machine. That General Electric symbol gave me comfort that I was in good hands, well not hands, but you know what I mean. I could erase my thoughts of what if this machine malfunctions while my body parts are secured in place.

I survived the parking lot mammogram with humor. Schedule your regular doctor visits, focus your wellness, and if you become anxious about the visit, find something humorous about the situation.

Fun Friday – The lighter side of a mammogram visit

Lockers for the convenience of  patients...one size fits most.


The reminder letter arrived in the mail, “…your mammogram is scheduled for …” The letter included the things that needed to be done to prepare for the appointment -

--arrive 10 minutes early

--do not wear deodorant

--blah, blah, blah

On the day of my appointment, I arrived as scheduled, checked in at the desk and only waited a few minutes before my name was called. I followed the worker to the next waiting area. It was the area where the patient undresses from the waist up and places her belongings in a locker. And that is where my trouble began.

The clothing items fit into the locker with ease. However, when I tried to put my purse in the locker, it became wedged half in, half out, of the locker. I gave the purse a shove, but it only moved an inch.

I had to devise a plan quickly. The staff at that doctor’s office are efficient and don’t leave you waiting long. When she returned for me I didn’t want to be standing there with my lovely gown swaying and me wrestling with the purse.

The over sized purse

I removed a few items from my purse – small notebook, hand lotion and fundraiser cards (my son’s project). Then I reorganized other items – work cell, personal cell, Excedrin. Whew. Maybe I needed to clean out the entire purse.

The reorganization worked, I was rewarded with success. I tilted the purse, jabbed it a little and in dropped onto the floor of the locker. I slammed the locker shut, removed the key and put the attached stretchy band around my wrist.  I plopped onto a chair just in time.

The technician entered the doorway, “Angela, are you ready?” She took me to the exam room, conducted the exam, and I was back in the changing room within ten minutes. It took me longer to get my purse into the locker than it did to conduct the exam.

After my appointment, I thought of another point that can be added to the checklist of reminders for a mammogram appointment…do not take a large purse.

Has anything happened to you recently where you had to laugh at yourself?