Once upon a parent – Why you need to be aware of how you communicate with your child

Image courtesy of themojocompany.com.

Once upon a time in a foreign land called parenthood a mom (me) discovered that kids live on a planet all their own. There is sometimes a language barrier between what a parent says to kids and how kids interpret what they hear.

Below are statements made to children and a view of their interpretation of the statements.

You say:           If you don’t clean your room I’m going to make you stay home from football practice.

Child hears:     Yes! Now I don’t have to run a million laps during practice.

You say:           If you can’t keep your bed made, maybe you don’t need a bed.

Child hears:     I like sleeping on the floor. My sleeping bag hasn’t been used in a while.

 

You say:           You tell a misbehaving child, “Go to your room.”

Child hears:     Ok, I can play the Wii/Xbox, watch TV.

You say:           When issuing a punishment you say, “This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.”

Child hears:     Ummm, I don’t think so.

 

Along my travels through parenthood I’m learning that giving clear, specific directions to my kids helps both of us to be less frustrated. It also gets us a little closer to our happily ever after.

As we’ve all discovered, everyone learns differently. Some people are auditory learners while others are visual. I have one of each in my boys. I can verbally tell one son a list of three things to do and he’ll get them done. Slowly, but he will get them done.

My other son is more of a visual learner. He has to have a written list of his tasks and he may forget where he put the list before it’s completed. Everyday is a different ecperience. In our house we function somewhere between Once upon a time and Happily ever after.

Have you experienced challenges when it comes to communicating with your child? What are your tips for effective communication?