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| Clothes and clutter and mess, oh my! |
I recently read an article in Parents magazine
that talked about discipline without screaming. It reminded me of chaotic days
in my house. Have you experienced this scenario…kids staying up late watching
T.V. on a school night, whining, “Just 5 more minutes?” Or you have said too
many times, “Clean your room, finish your homework, get your things ready for
tomorrow.”
I repeat
myself so many times that I get tired of hearing my own voice. I start out
sounding like Dr. Seuss. “Get this room clean, get it done now. I don’t care
with what, I don’t care how.” Then I turn into Dr. Jekyll as I growl, “Get it
done now!”
My son out
smarted me on one occasion when it came to cleaning his room. He relocated
everything…to the hallway outside of his room. His rationale was, “I have to
take everything out of the room so I can organize it.”
By the time
my son finally accomplishes his task, I feel like I need to call Dr. Phil. The
kickin’ and screaming begins, all the way to the bedroom. This time it’s me. I
grab a pillow and scream into it. I have realized that a lot of challenging
situations with my kids are power struggles.
In the Parents magazine article, it states
that, “the power struggle is a contest about who has the upper hand at the
moment (May 2012 issue).” We want to prove to our kids that we are the one in
charge. The ‘no-scream’ solution is to get ourselves out of the fight mode. The
idea is to work together with the child to find a solution, rather than
focusing on winning or loosing the battle.
In the
situation of getting a child to clean his room, setting boundaries may help.
For instance give him a time limit to have everything done and state the
consequences of non-compliance. You will notice I said in the situation of
getting ‘a child’ and not ‘my child’ to clean his room. My child
does not fit the norm, he is an outside the box thinker.
You have to
determine what will work best with the personality of your child and adept the
advice you receive. Sprinkle it with prayer and keep the faith. Kickin’ and
screaming is tiring and it doesn’t really resolve anything.
What
situations have caused you to want to pull your hair out when it comes to
having to discipline your child?
I say just close the door, as long as no animals are living in there. My kids are now in their twentiesL. The rules were they were to keep the areas we all shared cleaned of their stuff, like the bathroom,living room etc.If they didn't I would get to keep their stuff. They had to do chores to earn it back. No yelling from me. Their refrain was "that's not fair. Mine -- "welcome to the real world"
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the bedroom. My kids did to have much in their room - no phone,no tv and no computer so that made it easier I think
Thanks for sharing. Yes, the bedroom door MUST stay closed. I like your idea of having the kids do chores to earn back their goods.
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