Help Wanted – How do you help kids get through the wonder years?



An uncooperative teen

 

When you hear the word “teenager” do you begin to hyperventilate? Its ok, you’re not alone. There used to be a TV show called The Wonder Years. I’m starting to realize the premise behind that show. Yet I’m not quite sure if my teen boys are going through the wonder years or if I am. While one son wonders about starting high school, the other one wonders about completing high school.

As for me, I’m in the starting lane anticipating the first parent obligation. What will be the first fee I’m hit with? I’ve already paid sports fees for one son. I know there will be a yearbook order form, senior dues and senior pictures. About those pictures, I have photos from previous years that we could submit. My son still looks the same.

So how do you help kids get through the wonder years? By first helping yourself. Here are four tips to help you survive the teen years.

1.      Know your teens’ friends – I often ask my boys the names of their friends when I haven’t met them before. They frown up and ask me “Why?” I frown back at them and say, “Because I need to know who you hang around.”

2.      Be consistent – teens need to know what is expected of them and the consequences when the expectations are not met. They may not like the consequences, but if the consistency is there, they will respect it.

3.      Spend time with your teen – ask questions, be concerned about the things they are concerned about. Remember when you were a teen, you may have felt like your parents did not understand things you were going through.

4.      Choose your battles – teens sometimes like to go for shock value with parents. If your son wants to cut his hair into a Mohawk and you think it’s the worse style you’ve seen…let him do it. Teens like to express their individuality. It he wants to do something more detrimental like drugs or alcohol, they you can step in.

Kids Health posted an article titled A Parent’sGuide to Surviving the Teen Years. It said that despite the negative perceptions about teens, they are often “thoughtful and idealistic.” It said that the teen years should be viewed as a time to “help them grow into the distinct individuals they will become.”

Armed with the proper tools and tactics, the wonder years can be turned into a WONDERful journey. What advice do you have for parents going through the wonder years?