Wordless Wednesday - The Funniest Quotes in Everyday Life

 

YouTube Credit: Fabulous Quotes

Monday Musings – The Grocery Store Gauntlet

 

A selection of blueberries

A few months ago, I participated in a Comedy Gauntlet. There were sixteen comedians, we each had 90 seconds to sling our jokes, make folks laugh, and hope our efforts would reward us with the title of Champion. The competition was lighthearted, and fun. This was not the same experience with my grocery store gauntlet.

A gave my grocery store visit the name “gauntlet” because it fit the definition that I came across. Gauntlet can be defined as “a series of challenging, dangerous, or unpleasant experiences – often with obstacles…giving you a hard time.” Yep, that fits my grocery store excursion.

As I entered the store and tried to grab a cart, I discovered a great deal of strength was needed to pull the carts apart. I don’t know who my grocery store has retrieving carts from the parking lot. I imagine the person to have the physique of the Incredible Hulk, and his temperament when jamming the carts together.

My attempt to pull the carts apart reminded me of playing tug of war as a child. I planted my feet in a firm stance, placed one hand on each cart. I began pulling one cart toward me, while pushing the other in the opposite direction. I’m pretty sure I was grunting loudly. After a few tries, I gave up on that row of carts and moved to the next one.

My first stop was at the produce section where I immediately became immersed in a math problem, fractions. For the love fruit smoothies in the summer, I was trying to determine the best deal on blueberries, the one pint for $6.99 or the 9.8 ounces that were two for $8.99.

You may look at that scenario and say, “that’s easy math” or “it depends on how many blueberries you want”. The bottom line was that I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to grab enough blueberries to get me through a week of smoothies. Now, if you love math, here’s a story problem for you.

If little Angie wants to make three smoothies in a week and she uses a ¼ cup of blue berries in each smoothie, how many 9-ounce containers of blueberries would she need?

When you have the answer to the story problem, post it for me and I’ll take the info along on my next shopping trip.

The next ingredient for my famous smoothie was strawberries. They looked fresh, then again, it could have been the overhead lights that made them look appealing. The price was right, they usually cost $5.99 per container, but were on sale, two for $6.99.

I grabbed the strawberry deal, but knew it meant I would need to make more than smoothies in the coming week. Experience has taught me that when strawberries are on sale, they are near the end of their shelf life and will need to be eaten within a few days.

I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed in the fruit section, but I wasn’t giving up yet. I was in the midst of my grocery store gauntlet; faced with one challenge after another. I still needed to select my melons, not for the smoothie, but just because I want other fruits for my meals.

Ah, the melons – watermelon and cantaloupe were what I wanted. Off I went to inspect the melons – sniff, thump and listen.  I thumped the watermelon, listened for a hollow sound, and hoped I had selected a sweet, ready to eat melon.

My grocery store gauntlet was NOT fun like the Comedy Gauntlet. I made it through because I knew I would transform the situation into humor at some point.

What exciting, wacky, or odd things have you encountered at the grocery store? Don’t stress about it, laugh at it.

Monday Musings - Gratitude served with a side of humor

 

A week without a razor, can you imagine what that looks like…if you have a menopausal mustache? I nearly experienced such a travesty on a recent vacation.  I am grateful that I had my pink Gillette double blade razor.

I won’t get into the debate over the use of razors versus tweezing or waxing. I will say that when it comes to hair in unwanted places, my motto is “hair today, gone tomorrow.”

On a trip with friends, I had many opportunities to express gratitude. One morning as I was washing my face with the white hotel washcloth, I noticed something white left behind under my chin. It looked like a small piece of cotton. I attempted to wipe it away, but my effort was futile.

Upon close scrutiny, with my head tilted back, chin in the air, and leaning toward the bathroom mirror, I came to a conclusion. What I thought was cotton, was really one, lone grey hair, fighting for survival. Well, not on my watch. I grabbed my Gillette double blade razor and swiped it away.

Satisfied with my temporarily smooth chin, I put the razor away. Those annoying hairs would return before the end of the week, but I would be ready.

It seems as I age, my hair grows where I don’t want it and disappears where I do want it. If you stand too closely in my personal space, you may notice that hairs have shifted from my eyebrows down to my chin. I am grateful to my chin for being so accommodating and welcoming. However, I’d rather the hairs disappear…like my waistline.

I’m not complaining, just navigating the maze of life through steamed eyeglasses due to hot flashes.

If I could choose a superpower, I would want it to be laughter. My cape would have the letters ‘LL’ branded on it for Lady Laughter. I would go around brightening people’s day by making them laugh. Wait. I do that now, with comedy.

I am grateful for humor, laughter and the opportunities that arise for me to share a giggle.

My challenge to you is to flip the script on any challenging situation this week. Instead of being frustrated, take a deep breath, and find the funny,